On being a housewife

Many don't know that i would love to leave my job (without any hesitation) to become a housewife. I've always envisaged myself wearing a polka dots apron, cooking not just great but fabulous dinner, scrubbing the floor til its spotless, leaving my personal touch at every corner of the house so that it feels homey, oh... nothing beats a house filled with sweet fragrance of freshly baked cakes. And of course MOST importantly, I want to take care of my family and made them happy.

I guess its really a women thing whereby no matter how enjoyable a lady's single life can be (successful career with high pay, great party companions, frequent traveling etc.), there is always a psychology void (quoting Manglish's word) inside her which craves for a home of her own. The desires started in a form of "家家酒" (a.k.a. masak-masak) game which all the girls love to play when we are young, and as we grew older, the desire expands like a black hole into a vivid picture of an ideal home. Day by day, more shapes and colors were added into this castle built in the air. And this inner child in us who loves to play the 家家酒 can never be satisfied until this virtual castle finally taken its physical form in the reality life.

Like any other kids, i have a fond memories of playing 家家酒 when i was young. However, the game which was my favorite past time was not a reality of my life. Don't get me wrong, i have the most loving parents in the whole world. They have labored all their life to raise us up, providing the meal on the table each and everyday, giving us the opportunity to have tertiary education, even to an extent of supporting me to study aboard although we are not rich in the context of material life.

However, every time when i think about my mom, the first picture comes into my mind is her wrinkled face that aged so much over the years of hard labors. It sadden me that i couldnt even remember any mother & daughter fun time we had when i was young. She work full time for thirty over years, from a government servant to Kindergarten teacher and now a Principal, and she never have a break which is longer than her maternity leave. On top of that she is also a fulltime homemaker, a wife and a mother. The years of hard labor had taken its effect as her body deteriorates so much after she hit menopause a few years ago. Some times i couldnt help thinking that maybe she will be much more happy if she is a simple full time housewife.

Looking at the life my mom led for the past 30 years, it was a crystal clear message to me that walking down the same road does not gurantee happily ever after. And maybe becoming a full time homemaker is not a bad idea at all. In fact, I can see myself as an equal partner in the marriage, despite not being the bread winner. The role of a homemaker is simple indispensable in today's family constitution.

Does it mean that i will quit my job to become a full time housewife after walking down the isle? Not sure what my future other half will think * chuckles * but out of all the XX species that i know, he is definitely the man with the least 'Chinaman' character, the concept of Man-must-be-the-provider-and-wife-must-be-submissive-and-stay-at-home was never in his dictionary. In fact, he likes the idea of being a house husband equally as me.

Seriously, although I do find the idea of being an excellent homemaker sounds fantastic,but i think i would also go bonkers (sooner or later) doing nothing but cooking, cleaning and watching soap drama on the tele everyday.

Its like the tortured souls in Dante's Inferno, pushing giant boulders up the hill over and over again, for eternity. In fact, scholar said that insanity is nothing but doing the same thing over and over again. Being a workaholic who cant stand boring, non challenging, repetitive work, I'm not sure will there be a day that the house chores and kids (or gargoyles, as what Peter always said) eventually turn into the boulders which drive me to road of insanity.

Maybe its human nature whereby we tend to think that grass is greener at the other side. After spending 3 years working full time, its only normal that the idea of being a full time homemaker sounds appealing to this office lady who works day in and day out to make ends meet.

Ok, so no conclusion this time.
yes.. yes... i know i'm contradicting myself again.