home

It is a shame to confess that I didn’t really truly happy to be home. Of course I’m happy to be with my family again, cuz’ we rarely have opportunity to have all of the family members gathered together. But the fact is I felt the restraint in my heart that pulls me back from being completely happy, I can’t enjoy the moments without thinking about wanting to share with him, and I felt sad cuz’ I cant do so. And I hate myself for feeling that way, I supposed to concentrate on spending time with my family. I supposed to treasure the moments I had with my family and cherish it so that it will be the propellent force that help me to withstand the loneliness I will feel for the next 2 years in UK. I supposed to do things that I supposed to do.

I hope all these feelings are just momentary, I’m still sick, my muscles felt fatigue and I had frequent headache. Maybe all these negatives thought is just some side effect of the physical weakness I have, Well, its scientifically proven that people are emotionally weak and started to think nonsense when they are physically weak. Everything will be fine when my life back on track again. Well, I’m still in the process of adapting the hectic weather, the slow pace of life here in Kuching, maybe I really have gone away from home for so long, or maybe its just because he is not here with me, that’s why everything simply felt not right.

home is a state of mind, thats what you told me. Bull, do you now that when i'm with you, i am home.