Monday, March 21, 2005

when the morning comes

It has been quite sometimes since the last time i had this kind of feeling... awakened by the advent of morning, time momentarily rests... open my eyes and realized that the whole room is still pitch black, solemnly cold and hopeless. Suddenly, i just hope that i dont have to wake up at all...

i was drowned in the endless dreams last night, everything went out quite blurry, but the funny thing is the line from the movie "hitch" keep repeating in my head,it sounds like a whisper, like a monochrome radio that play, rewind, play again, rewind.... well, its a line by Albert, the guy who was hopelessly in love with a high social status girl in the movie Hitch.

"do you know the feeling of hopeless? every morning you wake up and know that she will never sleep in your arms, knowing that she is messing up with the wrong guy and you can do nothing, you love her so much but you can only wish her silently that she find her true happiness one day."

"i felt like wanna die now, the pain is so obvious and great that it makes me wanna jump of from tall buiding. But if the pain is the only thing that makes me stay connected to her, then i will bear the pain, cuz i dont want to forget her."

i had this deja vu sort of feeling, its as if you had all those minds and thoughts scramble and tangled at the core of your heart, once a while you may felt the glimsp of those emotion and desires in a misty way... when i heard those line last night, i felt a hard bang in my heart, cuz' everything went so clearly now, the speech sort out all those thoughts in a proper concrete way, so 'defining' until it freaks the hell out of me.

morning tears of unspoken fear.

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