i'm sorry

i'm happy
i'm happy
i'm happy.....

still feel like sucks and sober although i kept telling myself the line repetitively,
convincing myself something that seems to be impossible to attain at such moment.
such psycology method is meaningless,
keep telling yourself the same thing won't make it feels a single bit more real,
do you know why? cuz' that's a lie....
but, at least things won't get worse than this,
cuz' i'm in the worst state now...

Hypocrite,
try to hide all those passive emotion behind my smile, my 'Happy go lucky' mask,
simply because don't want others to feel miserable as well,
makes no point to let others bear your burden...
this is my viscous life, my wracked reality, my disoriented dimension,
it has nothing to do with others, yes, that's include you too.

i'm gettin edgy nowadays,
unintentionally yelled at Adrian last night,
brother, sorry, sorry, sorry...
i really don't mean that.
it's just that there are something stretching me inside,
pulling me so tight that sometimes it slips,
and the outcome is an outburst of harsh words and improper manner.

sorry, sorry, sorry....
sometimes my emotional anxiety and restlessness take over my rationality,
but please don't worry for me, don't feel bad for me,
i'll restrain it, i'll not let it ruin my remaining pride,
i'll continue to hide it behind my hidden mask,
untill the day i can smile sincerely through my heart again..

i'm happy
i'm happy
i'm happy

but i'm really unhappy...