It was 3 am in the morning…
You maybe wondering what the hack I’m staying until such late night after the third paper on animal developments, would you believe if I tell you the fact that I wish I can see the Sunday’s dawn emerges on the horizontal plane of the earth in another couple of hours? Well, tell you what, I have the sudden urge to do so, see if I can kill the time by blogging anyway.
I had been staying for 4 years in Kuala Lumpur. Thinking about it now, there was no defining moment for me, no turning point to look back at later and say, “Yeah, I remember the exact day when I came to KL and blah blah blah…..” Do you know why? Cuz every single moment counts….
I lived for those countless days and nights whereby I spent consumed in the warmth of the time I spent with my friends. I can close my eyes right now and I’m there. I can feel the cool night air charged with electricity, Black eyes pea’s “where is the love” was playing through the speaker of the illegal VCD hawker stall, and the smell of Teh tarik and the sound of noisy crowd while hanging out with my buddy at BRJ. Sometimes we just sit there, savor the moment, the warm atmosphere and just enjoyed the fact that we were there.
On the nights, sitting somewhere at the chair in front of my block’s compound, I have countless long, lazy, unconditional talk with my close friends. Most of the time, I didn’t want it all to end that early, so I stayed out there taking in every last bit of the night I could get. Sometimes we just sit there in silence, listening to the crickets chirping and the last piece of night dying out, and I’d look into the massive dark sky at all those stars and feel… small. But I never felt alone. I may have looked lonely, but I never felt insignificant or alone. Sometimes letting my mind wander and I was suddenly glad it was just me. I'm very rarely alone in the sense that another person's physical presence is usually with me. Then again, sometimes no matter where I go or who I'm with, I'm alone. I can be in a room with a hundred people and still I'm completely alone. Maybe I'm just starting to get comfortable with it.
Sitting out here on the chair and looking at the stars reminded me of the way I felt during four years of my life in KL. Suddenly i had a great urgency to take in every last bit of the night I could get. I started thinking about all the times I spent late nights at library studying for exam, the usual TARC bus route that I take everyday, the boring and sleepy afternoon tutorial class…I will miss that part of my life.
Although the moments in TARC will soon died out, it struck me that I was looking at the same stars as I did then, and I wondered if I could go back and reclaim that part of myself again. Before I could find an answer though, another question started running through my head. “What makes you feel alive?” I suspect the answer changes over time. I'm not sure exactly what the precise answer is for me, but I long to find it. You spend a lifetime searching and maybe you’ll see something familiar that eventually leads you back home. I don’t think you ever get to an end. Life is lived in circles that you continue to travel over and over again, only in a slightly different way each time. All I know is that at one time in my life, sitting out there in front of my block compound, I felt alive.
You maybe wondering what the hack I’m staying until such late night after the third paper on animal developments, would you believe if I tell you the fact that I wish I can see the Sunday’s dawn emerges on the horizontal plane of the earth in another couple of hours? Well, tell you what, I have the sudden urge to do so, see if I can kill the time by blogging anyway.
I had been staying for 4 years in Kuala Lumpur. Thinking about it now, there was no defining moment for me, no turning point to look back at later and say, “Yeah, I remember the exact day when I came to KL and blah blah blah…..” Do you know why? Cuz every single moment counts….
I lived for those countless days and nights whereby I spent consumed in the warmth of the time I spent with my friends. I can close my eyes right now and I’m there. I can feel the cool night air charged with electricity, Black eyes pea’s “where is the love” was playing through the speaker of the illegal VCD hawker stall, and the smell of Teh tarik and the sound of noisy crowd while hanging out with my buddy at BRJ. Sometimes we just sit there, savor the moment, the warm atmosphere and just enjoyed the fact that we were there.
On the nights, sitting somewhere at the chair in front of my block’s compound, I have countless long, lazy, unconditional talk with my close friends. Most of the time, I didn’t want it all to end that early, so I stayed out there taking in every last bit of the night I could get. Sometimes we just sit there in silence, listening to the crickets chirping and the last piece of night dying out, and I’d look into the massive dark sky at all those stars and feel… small. But I never felt alone. I may have looked lonely, but I never felt insignificant or alone. Sometimes letting my mind wander and I was suddenly glad it was just me. I'm very rarely alone in the sense that another person's physical presence is usually with me. Then again, sometimes no matter where I go or who I'm with, I'm alone. I can be in a room with a hundred people and still I'm completely alone. Maybe I'm just starting to get comfortable with it.
Sitting out here on the chair and looking at the stars reminded me of the way I felt during four years of my life in KL. Suddenly i had a great urgency to take in every last bit of the night I could get. I started thinking about all the times I spent late nights at library studying for exam, the usual TARC bus route that I take everyday, the boring and sleepy afternoon tutorial class…I will miss that part of my life.
Although the moments in TARC will soon died out, it struck me that I was looking at the same stars as I did then, and I wondered if I could go back and reclaim that part of myself again. Before I could find an answer though, another question started running through my head. “What makes you feel alive?” I suspect the answer changes over time. I'm not sure exactly what the precise answer is for me, but I long to find it. You spend a lifetime searching and maybe you’ll see something familiar that eventually leads you back home. I don’t think you ever get to an end. Life is lived in circles that you continue to travel over and over again, only in a slightly different way each time. All I know is that at one time in my life, sitting out there in front of my block compound, I felt alive.
 | lyonlionel wrote on Jan 22, '05 atlantisian said  Life is lived in circles that you continue to travel over and over again, only in a slightly different way each time.  It is a vicious circle. |
 | atlantisian wrote on Jan 23, '05 hmmm... vicious...it's more like a adaptation and immunization to me... i think every stages of my life is like a repeating cycles, (secondary school dayz, form 6, college life, working life...) meeting new people, get along, settled down, then move away again... the feeling is the same... a wheel of life, a wheel of emotional attachment. |
 | banana2 wrote on Jan 22, '05 if u want to see the dawn, the best time is wait from 6.30 to 7.00 am, no point waiting so early ler. and looking to the stars, moon, cloud, dawn, dusk, street lights are normal ma. u want to feel alive? easy. close ur eyes and take a deep breath, if u feel that u are breathing, it proves that u are alive. |
| atlantisian wrote on Jan 22, '05, edited on Jan 22, '05 banana2 said if u want to see the dawn, the best time is wait from 6.30 to 7.00 am, no point waiting so early ler.and looking to the stars, moon, cloud, dawn, dusk, street lights are normal ma. u want to feel alive? easy. close ur eyes and take a deep breath, if u feel that u are breathing, it proves that u are alive. actually i didn't manage to do so... my eye lids weigh a thousand kg after i finish my blog, ok.. next time i tried at 630am... hei, since you are so good with photography thing, maybe you can take one pic for the sunrise for me, i mean the one i upload is somewhere from the net... i think you can do a better one. anyway, you remind me of a natelie imbruglia song with the line goes like" ....breathing is believing,underneath the smoke in the room...." what's the title of the song arr? |
 | eugenetwj wrote on Jan 25, '05 Aah, susan... i must admit that the song playing in the background (Incident Music) is really nice, and its so nice that you embedded the song into every one of your articles... But erm... some articles already have flash with music included so the Fly Away background music is really kacau-ing. Anyway, the MTV for the FlyAway song is out, watched it yet? |
| atlantisian wrote on Jan 25, '05 eugenetwj said Aah, susan... i must admit that the song playing in the background (Incident Music) is really nice, and its so nice that you embedded the song into every one of your articles...But erm... some articles already have flash with music included so the Fly Away background music is really kacau-ing. Anyway, the MTV for the FlyAway song is out, watched it yet? i know i know, the yanzi's flash right? hmmmm.... i think i'll delete it soon, ( but i like so much, so didn't delete it when i delete others in the blog)... but then, i like fly away more lar... the mtv is ou? really arr? what's the web? |
| atlantisian wrote on Jan 25, '05 ahlok2003 said may i make a request??haha..if have free time send me the song to ahlok2003@yahoo.com haha...thanks! Eugene got the whole mp3 already, i'm still in the process of learning to convert the thing... he is my sifu now... be patient arr |
 | pohmui wrote on Jan 25, '05 atlantisian said Eugene got the whole mp3 already, i'm still in the process of learning to convert the thing... he is my sifu now... be patient arrconvert what? yes he is good at converting things.. :p |
| atlantisian wrote on Jan 26, '05 eugenetwj said Oh? Converting things... hmmm... how i wish...Huh? Nevermind... Oh, i've got the whole album by Corinne May already, the singer who sung and wrote Fly Away. The MTV can be seen at www.corrinnemay.com ** Warning!! 17mb streaming video!! ** i successfully convert the swf file liao, so proud of myself, Thanx so much Eugene.... You are The GREATEST sifu of the universe....MUAK MUAK MUAK.... |
| atlantisian wrote on Feb 10, '05 lalala.... guess i have to thank my super duper sifu for teaching me so well.... |
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Has casually come on a forum and has seen this theme. I can help you council.
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