Read a post in mei ling's blog just now, a so-called self revealing test that helps people to understand more about their current state of inner needs and emotional state. the only requirement is to be completely honest and spontaneous about what you are writting. Well, just wanna see whether this can really help to unveal myself or not.
Here it goes.
i am not: going to stay in UK forever
i am hurt: when the friendship that i thought once was so special turn out to be nothing in the end.
i love: to sing in the house of God.
i hate: when i saw my love one through web camera but can't touch him.
i fear: being alone for the rest of my life
i hope: to gain my acedemic success soon and make my parents proud.
i crave: for my friends and family acceptance.
i regret: when i didnt do what i'm supposed to do because i dont have the courage to do.
i cry: only when i can hold my tears no more.
i care: if my words unintentionally offends or hurt others feeling cuz i was once hurt by others words.
i always: try to be the better me although i knew its damn hard to meet everyone expectation.
i long: for a hug at the end of the day.
i feel alone: when i surrounded by hundreds of people but they are all some blurr images that i feel not connected at all.
i listen: to "cold water" when i'm on the verge of breaking down.
i hide: my irritation and sadness by being quiet and stoned.
i sing: "disappear" by bebo norman when i feel the need to let go.
i dance: when I'm on the stage leading praise and worship because those are the moments i feel so close to God.
i write: blogs to express my most private and bluntest thoughts.
i breathe: air that still remains foreign and uncertain to me.
i play: the guitar only once in the church since i came to UK and i was overjoyed.
i miss: my family and friends in the church when i felt so cold and alone in this foreign land.
i search: for other positive ways to vent my frustration other than being quiet and cold.
i learn: how to cope with feeling of being so screw up.
i feel: i didnt fit in UK at all though i have been here for nearly 2 months.
i know: God has His purpose on me. although i dunno what is that at the moment but i just had to keep walking down this road of life.
i say: i dont care but i really care inside.
i succeed: acedemically in TARC, which once i thought was the goal of my life. But now, i knew i have more meaningful things to do instead of that.
i fail: in relatonship once and i will certainly not repeating the same mistake again.
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