PC breakdown
frustrated.... exhausted.... helpless... devastated.
i didnt expect that the emotional turmoil will be that great last night, feels like almost unbearable. ironically at the same time, i felt pathetic for myself for being so easily emotionally disturbed and turbulenced, especially by a lifeless stupid electronic gadget. I thought i was independent and strong minded all this time. In the history of my whole life, i rarely allow myself to act like a 'weak one'. and i always think that a person's mind and will determine his/her altitude.
"Some people tend to forgot about others when they are to busy dealing and complaining about themselves. They tend to complain and nag or express anger, dissappointment and other sort of insignificant emotions that they forgot that the people who they vent their things to is also a human being. They are so immensely concentrating on being a drama queen and indulging in themselves they tend to think that the world revolves around them. "Oooh I am so sad, Ooh I am so dissappointed, Why dont you understand and yatta yatta yatta.........." Its not my fault that shit happens, its your fault, its the worlds fault its that taxi drivers fault and exhuming the same old sappy teart story from the past again and again and again."~Sinatraz
yeah, i was trying hard not to be THAT kind of person, in fact sometime i think those kind of people are really pathetic. Relying on other's comforts to assure their self-worthness, do nothing but pitying themself. and though i'm not those extremes that fight for WOMEN POWER or equality, but i always hate those prejudice who strereotypically labelled women as the "weak one". Through years, i had learnt not to express my emotion too much infront of others, not asking for help easily, even trying to be alone and enjoying my solitude.
But without realizing, i was tagged by "cold-blooded" by some of my friends.
The incident last night taught me something about myself that i had tried to ignore all these time. At the moment my tears fell down my face the minute i hear my love one's voice, i had came to realize one thing. I was trying to be strong, but i can't be strong all the time, i'm only a girl, a girl that crave for acceptance, a girl that need the tenderness and care, a girl that wish to stay in her father's protective arms forever, a girl that secretly hope for someone that she can depend on, someone that can be her santuary and refuge.
i know this really doesnt sound like me, but can i just be a little girl for a while?
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We needed all the warmth, love and comfort when we were babies. When we are old we need all the warmth, love and comfort from others who take care of us. But here is the secret, in between those times, we all need still need each other to get along in life. - Morrie Schwartz
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