Went to bank-in the deposit to the landlord today. which mean i had decided and i will stay in Liverpool to continue my master studies for another 1 year. I have to say its really not easy for me to reach until this stage, went through alot of doubts and struggle. in fact i nearly give up halfway.
Firstly, as in certain period of time i'm really not sure whether my emotional and physical state allow me to withstand another year of life in UK or not. Being nearly 2 months in UK makes me realize that i had became more easily depressed nowadays. in fact just a few days before, my friend scolded me for spending all my time in the room when i supposed to enjoy the UK's summer breeze outside. well, really had to thank him, he had reminded me to enjoy my life in UK instead of shutting myself and mourning and griefing all the time in the closet. But cant deny the fact that i'm easily getting flu and feeling dizzy nowadays.
well, another reason is i started to wonder what "dream" really spell for me. Why did i crave so much for study aboard in the first place? cuz now i really dont think study aboard in a western country is really that superb or enjoyable anymore. although i still appreciate the beautiful scenery and the relaxing and easy going life style here in Uk, but sometime i just think that being here in the foreign land didnt really makes me feel satisfied nor trully happy. When i am far away from home, it makes me realized that being together with the people that i care and love means much more to me than having a UK certified master cert. If i have to be so far away from them in order to achieve my dreams, maybe its really not worth it.
Well, i'm walking on this path now, i guess its too late for me to feel regret. i cant let my parents down. They have such a high hopes for me and wanted so much to see me excel in my studies. So i might as well try to live my life here in UK to fullest and enjoy the UK's unpredictable weather and sucky coldness as much as possible.
anyway, i'm personally think that i'll be more happy if i just come here for the travelling purpose and not for study, less pressured i guess. Pretty much enjoyed my last week visit at Chester. anyway, enough crapping. lights off now.
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