Days in UK

Current mood: tired, gloomy, retarded nerve response, feeling kind of blue.
current song playing: Anthon's "Sad song"

The feeling of blogging at 1am after a tiring, exhausting 9 hours of lectures in Uni is undescribable. A bit numb, apathetic, it's like my brain had turn to the sleeping mode already but my fingers are still typing subconsciously by itself.

its quite amazing when i realize that it has been nearly three weeks i'm in Liverpool now. Gosh, its seems like ages. After the excitement of exploration, the thrill of being in a new place ceases, now all i feel is "i miss home". Its nothing to do with the cold weather, foreign place or the depression of being unable to adapt to the new environment or the different learning style. In fact living in Liverpool can be quite leisuring and enjoying, no 37 degress hot humid weather, no traffic jam, the scenery in Liverpool here is breathtakingly awesome compare to Malaysia, here got beautiful docks, a lot of victorian style building, nice pub and the never sleeping saturday night fever. The whole city itself is a display of art and culture.

Well, for all the goodness that can be simply reached by just walking out through the door, why did i still felt that this is not right? I cant figure out what has gone wrong, it seems like the dreams that i craved so much since my younger days is not really quite my dreams anymore.i keep asking myself isn't it all of these is what i want? why i didnt felt the joy that i thought i should have?

If i really have to confine the root of my restlessness into a define reason, then i have to say its a simple feeling of not belong to here. This is not my home.

All these time, i never realized how much home meants to me. and when i finally understand and appreciate it. i am thousands miles away from home, How pathetic.