Lately, I have done something superb, well, it maybe not as superb as you think, but for a person that has been most unproductive for the past few weeks, the work can be define as divinely, outstrageously superb.
Well, it was a typical, boring afternoon, with hectic and dull tranquility, the boring susan suddenly got frustrated with the nothing-to-do dilemma, so she dig out all the old VCD and watched it all over again, well, an insight hit her like orgasm after the marathon approaching the 40th VCD, an enlightment thought to be precise, she called it “the blah factor of the disaster movie.” Why disaster movie? Not the saussy romantic movie or make-you-wanna-puke after-you-watch-it ghost movie? Honestly, I dunno too, go figure…
“Blah factors of disaster movie”
Blah factor no1
In a disaster movie, there are usually several main characters who are introduced in the first 20 minutes. These characters are confined to certain traits. A blond beauty, a macho hero and a bad guy. Eg in an airplane disaster, there’s always a beautiful stewardess, an obnoxious kid that is too young to die, an elderly couple hugging each other periodically to pray at disastrous moment, terrorist and a president ( of united state)
Blah factor no2
Disaster movie always begin with the disastrous event, which is the potent of things to come, Eg in a volcano movie, the very first scene involve some one being boiled alive in a unspeakable sulphuric manner, when the body was discovered, everyone will go “this is no big deal” except one ( the hero) which will come out with a non logical explanation and will then be alienated and laughed by others
Blah factor no 3
Women in action usually wear high heels and tight dress. When concerned with hero in a fight where they’re severely outnumbered, at least one of the bad guys will be knocked in head by a vase/heavy object.
Blah factor no4
If the women hates the hero from the very beginning, it’s a sure they will fall in love
Blah factor no5
The hero will always have a traumatic past, like being unable to protect his wife/children get killed in the line of duty.
Blah factor no6
If the hero receive a phone call detailing “ Hey bob, turn on the TV show, you really have to see this.” He will immediately turn on the TV and the important news segment will start from the very beginning.
Blah factor no7
Disaster movie usually ends well, unless a romance element involved, then usually one of the half will die in pivotal scene. Before these the dying lover will say something like “I want you to promise me you will go on, Rose”. He won’t allowed to die until he finish the whole sentence.
Blah factor no 8
If the disaster involve flood scene, there is always one scene where the hero get to tore off their shirt.
Blah factor no9
All disaster movie have little children and dog which will always survive.
Blah factor no10
At least one of the rescue team members/scientist is black.
Guess the blah factors is the reason why disaster movie are always blockbuster seller, go figure, add more if you want….
 | eugenetwj wrote on Feb 25, '05 "susan suddenly got frustrated with the nothing-to-do dilemma, so she dig out all the old VCD and watched it all over again, well, an insight hit her like orgasm" Hmmm... i dont have to put my thoughts into words for you to know what im gonna say. Anyway, i must ask if it was it a satisfying insight. Another thing is, the keys of that sentence proceeded in this manner 1. Susan... 2. frustrated... 3. watch VCDs...4. Orgasm... What more can i say? :) "Why disaster movie? Not the saussy romantic movie or make-you-wanna-puke after-you-watch-it ghost movie?" Issit because Susan is so sensitive emotionally that shes applying the Freudian way of protecting herself by avoiding any type of movies that may affect her inner self after she watches it? I dunno... |
 | craziivan wrote on Feb 25, '05 Mmm....if u have never had an orgasm before, how would u know if something hits u like an orgasm? Maybe its cos of all those porn books u read. Hmm...this deserves further study. So kindly answer the following blah questionaire abt orgasms to ensure that u were hit with one after watching tons of old movies. (though the thought of it is somewhat weird) 1) After watching all those movies and the feeling hit u, would u describe it as : A)So-so B)Very good C)Awesome!! D)The best i ever had 2) Would u describe the feeling as : A) being hit by a freight train B) being hit by an airplane C) being hit by a planet D) nothing that strong 3) How would u describe urself after u got hit by the feeling?: A) Slightly stimulated B) Slightly sweatty and a small pant C) Heavy breathing, sweat and tears in ur eyes D) So far out that ur face looked as if u jst had a pint of sour vinegar So answer them and we shall see if old movies indeed to make u orgasm,,,in which case HBO will be ur designated porn channel. |
 | atlantisian wrote on Feb 26, '05 aiyo, what's the big fuss?!? just a word lar... no, i won't answer your stupid questions, you have carried your psycology armchair way too far. anyway, don't think you are so expert in THAT term also... |
 |
No comments:
Post a Comment