Be careful what you wish for

I think my memory went from bad to worse as i'm aged.

Last night while watching "America the Wright way", the cheeky host Ian Wright mentioned this word 'metastasize' in his show. For some reason, my grey matter couldnt comprehend the word although it sounded so familiar, i tried to think in the contex but it still doesnt ring a bell. When i asked my walking dictionary, he has no clue either and brushed me off with a snort and "you and your big vocab!"

Thanks to my stupid pride, i refused to let go of the subject, it was totally un acceptable for a person who studied biology for 6 years unable to retrieve the meaning of a simple biological term. i couldn't searched online as Peter's internet setting needs to be re configured. Since I need to go back as it was getting late, I told Peter to search for me the word and he had totally forgotten that.

I know it sounded stupid, but for some reason, it bugged me, irked me the whole night. Ok maybe right before dozing off, my brain is automatically dis function when i'm sleepy.

This morning, the moment my laptop is on, i searched the word through google, and ta ta.... the search came back as "spread, usually refer to cancerous tumor".

And yes, my heart is finally at peace again.

It makes me think, is it true that the strength of memory is inversely proportional to the age? We always heard people saying: "opps, i've totally forgotten, getting old!", well, maybe there is some truth in this common exclamation.

I remembered reading Nicholas Sparks "The notebook", whereby this old lady was suffered from acute amnesia, and the husband will tell her their love story over and over again as he believed that he could bring back the lost memory of his wife. When i think of myself, there will be a day when my body cells started to degenerate, my neurons will be no longer sensitive towards stimuli. Will my heart still able to hold the memory of not just some biological terms and knowledge, but the memories of my love ones which i've cherished and treasured throughout my whole life?

I used to wish that i can look more matured (older), as i'd always being told that i looked too young and playful to be in my position. In fact, my boss always said that i'm ALMOST perfect, cuz i have the 2 A's-Attitude, Aptitude, but not the third A-Aged.

A reminder to myself to be careful with my words and wish, the day when its realized, it may no longer be what i wished for.