A week with endless business meeting is a long time. Obviously its not as long as having no project for 1 month, but its all about relativity. The workload seems like never reduced despite the fact that i've managed to clear some, but more flowed in. It continues to pile up like a mountain on my table, i know for sure it wont be long before my colleague find me suffocated underneath piles of business documents.
Lately, I have this funny thought of being slowly consumed by my job. The feeling regurgitated from my stomach to esophagus, my mouth, and back to my stomach again. The first thing came to my mind the moment i open my e-mailbox every morning is "Another whole long list of tasks to look into, great...". I think this feeling had slowly slipping into my system to an extent it started to poison and took away my passion for job.
At the same time, my flight and fight response mechanism was on its high. I'm no more sitting in obedience, taking and accepting whatever rubbish that comes to me, or going with the flow in order to make everyone happy. Nowadays i'm either fighting hard to get my point across or flee to survive whenever people engaged in unnecessary arguments.
Blame it to the adrenaline.
I am a science person who serve in business development team. However, wearing high heels and sleek suit, giving some business presentation or engaging in an intelligently sound business prep talk are never appeal to me. In fact it irks me to the core to see how businessman smartly maneuver themselves to get the upperhand when it comes to business negotiation. At times, i would have performed harakiri if someone was kind enough to give me a sword, rather than torturing myself looking at how the businessmen polished each other shoes.
In the past, i tried my best to avoid those unnecessary dinners and interaction with customers, especially with government officials and those pot belly bearing businessman, but its getting harder to do so nowadays. The company is expecting me to go full force at the frontline, but i knew there is so much of resistancy inside of me. I simply dont have the cut for business nor i able to talk about cents as natural as breathing the air.
Anyway, i knew this is not healthy and i'm complaining too much, but this is the damage of one week of restless work can do to you.
End of my "Annoyed" part 2, and no, there is no part 3.
Lately, I have this funny thought of being slowly consumed by my job. The feeling regurgitated from my stomach to esophagus, my mouth, and back to my stomach again. The first thing came to my mind the moment i open my e-mailbox every morning is "Another whole long list of tasks to look into, great...". I think this feeling had slowly slipping into my system to an extent it started to poison and took away my passion for job.
At the same time, my flight and fight response mechanism was on its high. I'm no more sitting in obedience, taking and accepting whatever rubbish that comes to me, or going with the flow in order to make everyone happy. Nowadays i'm either fighting hard to get my point across or flee to survive whenever people engaged in unnecessary arguments.
Blame it to the adrenaline.
I am a science person who serve in business development team. However, wearing high heels and sleek suit, giving some business presentation or engaging in an intelligently sound business prep talk are never appeal to me. In fact it irks me to the core to see how businessman smartly maneuver themselves to get the upperhand when it comes to business negotiation. At times, i would have performed harakiri if someone was kind enough to give me a sword, rather than torturing myself looking at how the businessmen polished each other shoes.
In the past, i tried my best to avoid those unnecessary dinners and interaction with customers, especially with government officials and those pot belly bearing businessman, but its getting harder to do so nowadays. The company is expecting me to go full force at the frontline, but i knew there is so much of resistancy inside of me. I simply dont have the cut for business nor i able to talk about cents as natural as breathing the air.
Anyway, i knew this is not healthy and i'm complaining too much, but this is the damage of one week of restless work can do to you.
End of my "Annoyed" part 2, and no, there is no part 3.
3 comments:
ar..the joy of working!!
To be honest, sometime I dun mind the workload, but rather the office politics that i find hard to play!!
Anyway, you'll survive, just like you always do!!
No pain no gain la.....I always make myself as cheerful as I can during working time esp in front of those who are against me. Trust me, be more nicer with so-called "enemy" in daily conversations but must know how to protect and defense our rights when comes to work.
As long as the contribution equal to the return: it sounds!!! If not, maybe we might switch to other channel
I agree with Dorcas that office politics is more horrible than workload.
join teaching! the satisfaction is yours to find :)
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