Thanks for your love

This is one of my most honest post written with a naked feeling.

I still remember the night of a few weeks ago, whereby i was on a highway drive from Melaka back to KL. It was an unplanned trip as i've just visited and pay respect to my friend's father whom had passed away. For some reason, along the whole ride my heart was disturbed and I made a call to my mom when we stopped at the rest station along the highway. I told my mom about the unfortunate incident, and before i realized it, my tears started to fall down in pebble size drops.

My mom told me she was the same age with my friend's dad whom had passed away.

I understood that these overflowing emotions came from the naked realization that one day my dear mom will leave me as well. Never ever i felt that death can be so close as if he will come and knock on the door anytime without any warning.

I came across an entry of a blog about the story of this particular blogger and his mother. He wrote it in such a way that the words spell out my feelings in alphabets as if he had read my mind.

父母亲是我们即便在无病呻吟的夜里也很少提及的角色。我和很多人一样，很少有人去感恩自己家里那个养活自己的父母...其实长大一点的时 候，都会内心对家人有着无尽的愧疚。因为良心发现的那些瞬间我们自己心里也很明白，我们平时叫嚣的自由自我为己而活是终极自私的，是他们牺牲自己的自由来换取我们的自由。

.......

On the whole, my childhood days were pretty great, and growing up was easy (despites of all the puppy love/crushes and friendship drama which may seems to be bigger than life during that time), i have the luxury of growing up in church and believe me thats the best place you want your child to grow up in. It required no thought and hard works on my part. It was going to happen anyway. So I’m afraid what follows isn’t that eventful as well. And that’s why part of me always dream and looking forward to something different and great to happen later in my life. To become the extraordinary Christian, to fall in love heads of heels, to become the friends in need and through thick and thin, to travels across the sea and to walk under a different sky…. Well, of course not all things turned out the way i've wanted, and in my mind, life has failed me. It was then I started to blog as that’s was my way out, and that’s why my words from the early days of blogging is full of ranting, complains and dissatisfaction.

Anyway, back to my point, what I’ve intended to say is that, i was a well protected child. Growing up wasn’t much of an effort, as it wasn’t really my responsibility, cuz it was my mom’s. My mom is a giant lady in my eyes. She shared the load of providing the physical needs for the family with my dad, as well as fulfilling the emotional needs for her child, her husband, her in laws, her own parents..... except herself. She always make sure the meals are ready, the clothes are washed, the money is enough for our next tuition fees. However, I can barely remember the last time she sat down and let us made her a meal, or buying something expensive for herself, or going for a pilgrimage trip to mainland china like the rest of her sisters (my aunts) does.


She is the typical conventional Chinese lady, who labors and sacrifices her whole life for the family. Sometimes, I do wished that she can do more for the sake of herself and not for her love ones, which including myself. She grew up in a poor family, and being the eldest and sister for 5, she took care of the younger ones in the family, work day in and day out to make the ends met and never really have the chance to go for higher education. She married my dad and started to live the nomad life as my dad was a government servant who got transferred from one place to another every 5-6 years. From Sibu, they moved to Miri, Semonggok, Samarahan, and now end up settling in Kuching where she is far away from her blood family.

In a way, I felt like we have all robbed away my mom’s life, me, my sister, brother, even my dad and her own blood family. We have robbed her off the chance of pursuing her real purpose in life and she deserve much better than the state she is in now. There was a long period of time, whereby she was frequently in argument with my dad and felt restless at home. I knew she was physically, as well as emotionally drained and wearing out, however I was incapable of doing anything for her and the days just continue to move on. And recently after 3 years I have graduated, I came to know that she spent most of her EPF savings for my UK’s master tuition fees, and today she still working hard to support my younger brother’s tuition fees.

It saddened me the fact that her life was a never ending cycle of labors and sacrifices. She was a proud mother, however being the subject of her love, I know how much we have failed and hurt her with our wrong behaves many times when we were teenagers those days.

Sometimes subconsciously we have forced ourselves to be on the top in our loves one's priority list. As such, they are responsible for our happiness and unhappiness, they supposed to be our providers, they are the venting channels for our grunts and complains. However we failed to register that, Anyone, doesnt matter how important is she in your life, but if she can only live once like any other person, so whats wrong with her pursuing whats she really wanted with this one and only life.

任何人，无论在你的生命中扮演着何等重要的角色？但她自身的生命也仅有一次，如果她用这一次去追寻了自我？不管她的结局是抱憾终老或无悔今生, 她又何错之有呢?

Today, I have live out the life where there is not an hour passing by that I didn’t felt appreciated and thankful for the state I’m in today. However, what about her dream and her life?

心中有这样一片田地，随着时间的累积我更深刻的体会我之所以存在......我不想俗套的歌颂什么是伟大的，别管有没有这个必要，那不是我表达的方式，真的不是...曾有人说中国人是最不擅长赤裸裸的表达爱，尤其在孩子面对亲人的时候，这句话象一双为我定做的鞋子，而我却不会脱掉它......好多事情无法感谢，而我心都了解。

I owe her my life.

where am i going?

Having my job appraisal done just now with my superiors (not just one, but three, including VP Business Dev, CEO and HR manager), its supposed to be THE APPRAISAL as my employment contract ends this month itself. Well, the appraisal determines whether i am staying or not and on top of that, if i am staying on board, they will express boldly what are they expecting out of me for the next one year, at the same time try to gauge whether i am up to the challenge.

In a sense its like facing the Donald Trump panel sitting infront of you and waiting to tear you apart.

Well, of course i stayed. no element of surprise here. The worst thing to do is to lose your job in the current economic crisis situation. However, although i am staying put, it doesnt mean that i am just stagnant at current position and stayed because there is no other choice. Personally, i look at this appraisal as another achievement of another milestone in my professional development. It has been two years since the day i launched myself in this job. Its like having a roller coaster ride, whereby i was thrown from the university green house into this big jungle of the world of business, and it is a world of beastly and cunning businessmen whereby personal interest (money sense) is above anything else. And to be frank, its a lonely battle as i just cant find my place in this world whereby honesty and sincerity were in total extinct.

Sometimes i do wish to go back to the lab or acedemia field, and being contented with a 9-5pm tutor or researcher post. At least, i am just battling against the genetic codes or the testosterone/estrogen-pumping young students (like Kim). However, most of the time i am thankful for the position i'm in today. The exposure which i've gained was unmeasurable and i've shaped and changed so much to an extent that i can barely remember the student me since the day i walked out of the university.

Today, i am asking myself, it has been two years now, so where am i supposed to go from here?

There is this particular comment by my boss during the appraisal which really made me ponder, in his own word, i am an obedient person, obedient to task and will always live up to it. However, he wanted more of me, not in the sense of obedient but loyalty, which means more space for me to perform and excel even out of the scope, but at the same time not to be too adventurous.

To an extent, i am quite agreed with my boss, he had spot on well that obedient is who i am and what i've always perceived as. I have been an obedient daughter, student, christian, and now, employee as well. Probably getting together with Peter is one of the few wildest thing i've ever done. I've always correlate obedient with loyalty, and today i've realized that it does not necessary mean the same. or maybe its a chicken and egg paradox thingy, whereby a loyal person will be obedient or obedience nurture the loyalty. however, one thing for sure is that a person can be obedient towards the task and the role, and the heart can be never loyal.

So back to the question, where am i going?

I hope its not a dumb thing to say that i dont know. i can hope and vitualize the place where i will be in 10 years time, and maybe it will give me the confidence and security that i am obedient and even loyal to the person i thought i am. However, if i didnt end up being there, will i be perceived as a failure?

so my answer is i dont know. However, i do know that everyday i am walking in faith, step by step cuz He leads the way. Eventually, it may not be the best place to be on earth, but i know for good or bad, thorns or bed of roses, my love ones is there for me and He will always walk together with me.

寂寞在唱歌

最近从友人的部落格看到台湾歌手阿桑因癌症逝世的消息，说实在的，有点措手不及的感觉。曾经好喜欢她所唱的《叶子》这首歌，凄美的旋律，落寞的表情，沙哑的声音，每每听了总觉得有股难以解释的惆怅。

“孤单 是一个人的狂欢
狂欢 是一群人的孤单
爱情 原来的开始是陪伴
但我也渐渐地遗忘
当时是怎样有人陪伴”

这首歌伴我渡过好多个离乡孤单的夜晚。那时的自己到处游走，甚至只身飞往巴黎，一个人旅行，到处走走停停，寻找那份向往的年少轻狂。然而却在灯光闪烁，灿烂繁华的陌生大都市里，我深深的思念着远在家乡那双温暖的手臂，那份简单的存在感。

“我一个人吃饭 旅行 到处走走停停
也一个人看书 写信 自己对话谈心
只是心又飘到了哪里
就连自己看也看不清
我想我不仅仅是失去你”

她的歌声真的是唱进心坎里了，让人产生共鸣，一字一句成了都市寂寞人的慰藉。

感慨，生命的短暂，无常。就像所罗门王所说的”虚空的虚空....一切都是捕风。日光之下的人，能掌握什么呢？

曾经的自己真的有想过要在那一片不同的天空勇敢的闯一回，体验不同的人生，经历不同的际遇。好笑的是，自己却在短短的两年时间便投降了。败给了他，败给了自己。

现在的生活，没有华丽的霓虹，没有形形色色的际遇，有时候或许有点无聊(就像时下年轻人所爱用的口头禅~“闲 (xian) 啊！”，但是相对的，有的却是着实相伴，踏实，充实的存在感。爱与面包，可以同样美丽。

难怪古人爱说，繁华最寂寞，倾城也枉然。

Irresistable

I've learnt and experienced alot of things in my 1 and a half years stay in UK, however there is this one thing that was highly irresistible for me, in fact most of the Malaysian students who went to study aboard in UK will surely pick up the habit, some sooner, some later, no exception. Its indulging and for some it eventually become an obsession.

No i am not talking about the cheap booze or binge drinking. I am referring to the E BAY-ing.

e bay is such a convinient tool which makes you shop so much even without realizing it. Its a craze in UK cuz even for the foreign student, being in UK means qualified to apply for credit card, which means able to do ONLINE SHOPPING. e bay is a phenomena and one of the biggest success story in the business world because the strategy hitting right on the bull's eyes-taking advantages of human nature. Lets be frank, people just cant resist online auction. We are tempted easily when we see the starting bidding price is so low, not to mention there is also a ticking clock that keep reminding you that you dont have much time left. Clicking the 'bid' button is as easy as a reflex, and before you know it, the item already arrives on your doorstep.

The habit still stick with me even though after 2 years i am back in Malaysia (thats the power of ebay!). I subscribed to some online boutiques newsletter and did a few online purchase before. A few days ago, I came across an interesting advert email which was sent to me by one of the online seller, am utterly amazed with the creativity of the designer.


tata! the shoe pod and shoe wheel, and behold here comes the most creative item i have ever seen!

the BRA CARE! The perfect bra washing solution ! (click to enlarge, the picture not the bra)

Seriously, people just sell anything and everything online nowadays, even Britney Spear's shaved hair was auctioned on ebay for one million previously!

By the way, kim, maybe you should buy yourself the shoe wheel k.

We are all visual animals

Kinda miss my long hair, now its short and hmmm well...... short.

Am looking at this photo we took in Singapore last christmas, and miss my long hair dearly.

A few days a go, my boss was looking at my face for quite a while (nearly caused me a nervous breakdown k) and said: "Susan you cut your hair is it?" Surprise, surprise, that was quite unexpected. Well, i admit that i am fairly diligent when it comes to work, but i am far from being a star performer or his favorite employee, and to be frank our usual scope of conversation only limited to work related topics, so its kinda surprise when he suddenly commented on my outlooks.

That reminds me of another incident happened last weekend.

I am shopping around with Peter when he saw this girl with long curly hair and very short STRAIGHT fringe, like those typical college girl who try to imitate the Japanese 'kawaii' style or babydoll look. And he asked me what i think about that kinda of hair style, well, i told him its nice but wouldnt suit me cuz my hair can never be that fluffy unless i did hair extension. The conversation ended there cuz i am least interest in discussing about another person hair (especially when it reminds me of the Beatles's hairstyle in the good old days).

Anyway, it makes me ponder, human is such a visual animal, arent we? We can spot the difference of a person's external appearance in a short glance. Whether he/she become chubbier, hair shorter/longer, bigger pores, more freckles, heavier makeup etc. and whether you like it or not, sometimes the first impression do last, especially those with a more visual appealing features. Majority of us have the habit of seeing a person and make snap judgments about them.

"She looks like a bimbo, probably she is the ah lien type"
"He looks nerdy with the uncle shirt"
"Why he still wear the cute T-shirt when he is already in 30s"....

Hundreds of thoughts running through our minds every minute and probably 80% of it is ignited by visual perception. If you are truthful to yourself you will be surprise to find out how critical / judgmental our mind is towards other people's external appearance. Well, of course most of the thoughts left unspoken.

We all know inside matters more than outside, no argument there but how many people you know putting an effort or have the luxury of getting to know the inside before they see the outside?

The fact is that we all like beautiful faces and figures. The 'favor for beauty' operates in almost all social situations, its a deep rooted belief and potraited even in the fairy tales, i.e. princess is always beautiful and the witch/stepsister are always ugly. I am guilty as well because i like Daniel Wu and loves to apply black eye liner. And is this something to be ashamed of? maybe not. Most of us are obsess about our external than what we would admit, who doesnt want to look in their best everyday? But one thing i am constantly reminding myself is that God looks beyond the appearance, at the heart. I am sure if the inside is beautiful, the outside will take care of itself.

My Spiritual cleansing-Nasi Lemak and Hugh Fearnley

My morning usually starts early, by 715 a.m. i will be reaching my office at MINES Waterfront Business Park. I love taking the slow walk from the MINES Car Park to my office which cut through the MINES lake. The lake used to be the world's largest open-cast tin mine, but amazingly it was turned into one of the most luxurious area in Malaysia, with its own resort, golf course, shopping malls, business park, convention centre, expensive and exclusive (secluded) residential area (where Tun Mahathir and CEO of Nirvana, Sapura live).

Anyway, the green roof building is where my office is. I wished i could take a fish eye shot of the scenery, however this is all i can offer considering i am shooting with my 2.0 megapixel phone camera. Plus, i better stopped this before the guard get suspicious over the lady in a formal business suit scouting around in a funny gesture taking photos with her camera phone.

My friends always asked me how come i have time for blogging when my workload is humongous. Well, the 1 and a half hours before the actual work start at 9am is my breakfast cum bible/book/newspaper reading cum email checking cum blogging time. The fact that having some quiet time for myself before a busy work day started always settles me emotionally. Its like going through a religious equivalent spiritual cleansing process, whereby my mind subconsciously preparing herself before indulging into the hectic work and endless business meetings for the rest of day.

So here comes the best part of today, a great book-Hugh Fearnley "Fearlessly Eats it all" and a pack of yummy Nasi Lemak for my spiritual cleansing moment. LOL, and the funny thing is coincidently the title of the book just matching the food. Here comes Susan's Word of wisdom for the day:

"Fearlessly eats the Nasi lemak, although it will gained you another one hour of aerobic to burn off the calories!"

I promised i will love you till the very end

Peter has two children, one girl and one boy. For them, he is the best daddy in the whole world. I never see him adores anyone else the way he adores them. He spent time with them, playing with them, hugging them whenever he can, and he always like to ask for 'kiss kiss' (in a very manja voice) ;p

I cant called myself their mummy cuz they already have a mom, who is also Peter's mom. Well, i dont care too much about the title, as long as they are also mine, my dear dear doggies.

tata... this is Miko, she is an old lady, 12 years old, in dog's years, she would be 7X12= 84 years old (even older than my grandma), a mixed terrier. Her name Miko was given by peter after pondered for days and nights, initially he wanted to give her a sophisticated Japanese name curtesy of a Japanese Princess named Yumiko something. However, since dog can only recognised few vowels, so it was gradually changed to Miko.

Miko have a strong character (maybe thats why we clicked so well). She loves when people scratch her belly. In approval, she will brush her leg on my hand when i do that to her. She get irritated easily when cat is around and she catches rat too! She follows me whenever i go and love to jump on and off my bed at night. However, dont get cheated by her cute figure, she is actually very fierce and will turn into a lioness when it comes to two things that she hated the most, grooming and bathing. She has a secret hideouts underneath the chair whereby every Saturday morning she will go disappear to avoid the weekly bath. Its amazing that how she know exactly when is Saturday and when is not.

This is Kui Kui and is 11 years old, he is from the same parents as Miko but a different litter, so they are biological brother and sister. Maybe due to the fact he was nuted at a very young age, so mentally he stay like young boy although he is physically matured, he is a mommy boy and he loves people carry and cuddle him. A year ago, he had underwent an operation to removes a small lumps in his neck and thats why he is wearing the head cone. But arent he looks cute with the cone on? reminds me of 伞蜥蜴. hehehe...


Peter and I love dogs, and we love watching dogs themed movie as well. Recently we went to watch a Japanse movie called "10 Promises to my dogs"about the story of a young girl called Akari and her dog, socks. Akari's mom made her to promise to obey the 10 commandments if she wanted to keep a dog. The story of the two started when the mom passed away and as years after years, they accompany each other through the growing days. However, the depiction of their relationship is quite ordinary in every way, just like you and me, with our doggie, in our everyday life, and thats why it felt dearer and closer to the viewer heart i guess.

Anyway, the 10 commandments are:

1. Listen patiently to what I have to say
2. Trust me, I am always on your side
3. Play with me a lot
4. Don't forget that I have feelings too
5. Let's never fight, someday I'll win
6. If I don't obey you, I have a good reason
7. You have school and friends, but as for me, I only have you
8. Stay my best friend, even when I'm old.
9. I'll live for about 10 years, so let's make every moment count.
10. Never forget our time together, keep this in your mind. So when my time comes, please be by my side.

Peter and i both love the movie, it reminds us to spend more time with our doggie cuz for them, we are all they had and their time is ticking faster as each day passed by. To an extent, thats the biggest fear i had when it comes to keeping a dog, cuz their life span is so much shorter than human, and there will be a day when we had to say good bye to them. In fact, i heard alot of people said they will never keep another pet after went through the heart breaks for putting their pet to sleep.

Am still dunno how to face it when the day come, but for today, i wanted to live out my one and only promise to them.

"I Promised i will love you till the very end"

The little India

My working life is absolutely the same with the rest of millions of Malaysian white collars workers, of which our daily routine revolves around the small cramp cubicle. However.... there is something really unique about my office. My clients who came to my office will usually spot the difference the minute they stepped in, its not the office decor nor the amount of cubicles (sometimes it does looks like a call centre) inside the office, well its the people.... cuz there is a little India in my office.

Best employee of the month

Its funny that people said that technology brings the world to your doorstep, well in this context, technology really brought alot of Indians from India to my office doorstep. Actually its not surprising that nowadays many IT companies hired software engineers from India, cuz they are skillful and cheaper to hire compare to grooming local IT fresh graduates (long gestation period). I am not a racist by the way (if thats what running through your mind), my Indians colleagues are a bunch of friendly people, and i have no issue mixing around with them, however, i cant deny that they really are a unique group of people, they are so distinct to an extent that their 'overpowering force' of cultural and linguistic influence threatened to takeover the office.

Ok, maybe thats a bit too much. However, dont you agree that how similar the Indians are? The way they talk, gesture, choice of food, interest (cricket, cricket and cricket) are really similar, and when they come together as a group, literally you can see the Indian aura is getting emitted out in strong waves. Well, who knows, maybe they view the chinese people the same way as well.

Anyway, some of the distinct differences of the Indian culture in my office are:

1. They like to use big words and sound intelligently (technically)
I have to say Indians are blessed with the gift of language, they can speak technical/science soundly without any effort while Malaysian will be struggle to find the vocabularies which is hiding somewhere in their brain. I thinks thats how they gained their respect and acceptance in the professional industry. However, thats provided you understand what they are saying in the first place, cuz their speak in such a thick Indian accent, and to make it worse, every state of India have their own distinct accent.

Sometimes when we have discussion with local clients and when my Indian colleagues speaks, i can see suddenly my clients become very quiet, and then they will started to look attentively at my colleagues's mouth movement, by then I know my colleague had lost them completely, and the rest of the meeting will be the class to master the art of lip reading.

2. They like to confuse people
They like to say yes sir to everything and shake their head while they agree. This is something which i am still learning after 2 years of working in my current company, sometimes it confused me so much that i dont even know whether they really understand what i am saying, or its just their habit of responding every sentence with 'yes mam'.

3. They like to disappear..... and come back with a wife
Arranged marriage is still very much in practice in India. They are very particular about geographical region (North and South Indian does not mixed marriage) and caste system when it comes to making babies. Parents will have the ultimate say in deciding the choice of the spouse of their son and daughters, and some of them never met each other before the wedding day itself. When my Indian colleagues applies for holiday for a month, for sure you know that wedding bell is ringing. They either come back to Malaysia with a wife, or in the case of lady colleagues, its a resignation letter, cuz its written in their 'commandment' that:

"Thy wife must follow thy husband wherever he goes."

So, they have no choice but to resign (leave Malaysia abruptly) and follow their husband to the end of the world.

4. They only eat Indian VEGETARIAN food
Majority of the Indians in my company are Vegetarian since the day they were born, thus they dont have many choices when it comes to the food served in company cafeteria. Its either Chapatti or Tosai, EVERYDAY. The vegetarian dish which they ate together with their main is always mashed and discoloured, so i can never tell which is which cuz they all tasted the same (heavy spices taste). They dont like the leafly vegetable and noodles, especially when its black in color. There is one time my Indian colleague tried the Char Kuay Tiaw, and end up puking and taking the MC for the next day because she cant take the soy sauce.

Before joining my current company, the indian food which i know is only Roti Canai and Masala. Chicken. Mind you, Indian perceived Roti Canai as poor men's food cuz its made of very low quality flour with no fibre content at all, so they will not take the Roti Canai which Malaysian are so proud of. Nowadays, i have learn to appreciate certain Indian food which are quite tasty in my own definition, e.g. Rava Tosai, Masala Tosai, Claypot Briyani etc.

Rava Tosai/Dosa
the usual tosai but with some chili and onion. I really love the coconut chutney which comes along with dhal and another red colored chutney, it taste a bit sweet and not too spicy

Masala Tosai/dosa
I think most of Malaysian know this dish, its again the same tosai but stuffed with mashed potatoes which is mixed with onion, spices, the only problem with the dish is the amount of ghee in it. Sometimes the tosai is submerged in a layer of yellow colored oil and it tasted very 'jelak' after a few bite.


Anyway, I will write more about indian food in my next blog.

So, back to the topic, to be frank, I do appreciates the diversity factor which my Indian Colleagues had brought into the office, and its actually quite fun to interact with people with different colors of life from different parts of the world.

slumdog millionaires-photoshoped

After hearing so many good reviews about Slumdog Millionaires, i've finally decided to watch the movie yesterday night. I have to say, even without caramel popcorns, the movie was awesome, with a balanced taste of entertainment and inspiring message. It is a complete unexpected detour from what people usually perceived of Bollywood movie (singing, dancing, heroism), as it potraited the naked, ugly, pathetic life of millions of slumdogs in India to the world once and for all, with no reservation (except for the groupie dancing in the credits at the end). Frankly, it must be the most honest real-life renderring movie in the history of Bollywood. The story was presented as flashbacks of the past converges with the presents as Jamal told his story, and this gave a darker appeal to some of the scenes.

However, its kinda weird as it was an British Director (Danny Boyle) who made this movie (in another term it is a British film), and that all the actors speaks flashy English with no apparent Indians slang at all, which is the biggest lie in the whole movie. I can testify this cuz i have more than 20 India's Indians colleagues and none of them speak without shaking their head and Indian Slang. Well you can really see the ambition of the director in this, making the film in such a way to cater for the hollywoord mainstream and of course the critics and judges of movie awards.

What really triggered my interest is the appearance of Lord Rama in the movie. Although its only like a split second, however the image was so vivid in my mind. The deity was shown as a kid in bluish, holding a bow when the Hindus-Muslims riots taken place where Jamal's mom was killed. I cant really make a sense out of that scene as according to my understanding, Lord Rama is the incarnation of God Vishnu, the god of maintenance in Hindus's belief (Hindus have the trinity-alike concept, where the other two Gods are Brahma the creator and Shiva the destroyer/death). The Hindus Gods were believed to incarnate as different people to end a particular age (not human physical age, but the age of the world, e.g. age of industry, age of end time etc.) in order to pave the way for the start of a new era.

The Lord Rama in the movie and artist impression, are they look alike?

At first my interpretation was Lord Rama appears to end it all when the slum area were destroyed by the Hindus, however according to my Indian colleagues, Lord Rama is said to have taken birth on earth to annihilate the evil forces of the age (He is always holding a bow and arrow indicating his readiness to destroy evils).

Which means in this case, the muslims were seen as the evils in the eyes of the Hindus. And thats why Jamal said he wished that he had never saw the Lord himself. Not sure whether you have realized it or not that both Jamal and Salim are Muslims? Especially in Salims's last scene whereby his last word is "God is great", the "takbir" in muslim. Its a famous arabic expression, especially in Muslim terrosists movie. Anyway, further googling showed that such speculation had been wide spread and the Hindus are protesting and banning the movie as the image of Lord Rama was badly demontrated and as such denigrating the religious sentiments of Hindus.

Demontration by Hindus

Nevertheless, its still a good movie, i love how the movie directors playing with the myriad of colors to make the movie really stand out. If you still the image, the scenes are so breathtakingly beautiful, its like telling a real story in such an artistic way. anyway, below are some of my favourites:

The reunion scene of the brothers reminiscence their past life in slum area

The endless train ride

The river and the toilet

Its a cookie cutter world

Human comes in a myriad of colors, needs, background, ethnics, ability and ambitions. We are so different from each other, yet we all living in this cookie cutter world that shaped us into similar being. We've been taught to be a good person by our parents, since we were young, we've been bombarded by tons of media influence everyday, we view beautiful as good and ugly as bad, we think that the earth revolves around us and that we are always right and others dont understand us when they dont agree with us.

Think about the people we marginalize just because they are different from us. We call some people as cult when their frame of religious believe does not fit into ours; we call the mainstream as tradition followers without even looking at the their life quality which is beyond the conventional; we call some people as sinner or lost when we dont even know that we too, sin every second or minutes; We call some people sluggish and non performers and we moves too fast and unwilling to slow down to wait for others.

Previously i was labeled or 'called' by some other people as bookworm, show off/fake, dominant etc., and the funny thing is when i confronted them, it seems like the reason is always because i didnt fit into their perception on how 'Susan' ought to be. Do i really need to prove myself that i am worthy of their expectation?

Our judgment and opinion are all based on our own set of assumptions and deduction. We judge a person based on fitness against our parameter, appearance, short encounter and glimpses which vaguely represent the reality.

In the end, who will fit into YOUR cookie cutter?

Or.. you are making a cookie cutter for others too?