Went through alot of love lessons recently, its not purely learning from experience type, but more of classroom learning. I will write something on that soon. am sharing one of the lesson which confused me alot (but in a good way) here today.
Should couple pursue their separate interest? I think most of us will jump to say "Of course, why not???" Well, before you get all pumped up, my next question is "should couple pursue their separate interest to an extent that its more absorbing and fulfilling compare to their own relationship?"
Told you its a tough one.
When two person come together, we always talk about togetherness, sharing of life, and common interest. In the other words, the whole purpose of couple ship is to change the mindset from 'I' to 'we'. However, the desire for security, interest, even material and possession that can make us happy is constantly instilled in us. And the bad thing is, this is very much individualistic. You cant expect a guy to go window shopping with you, or a girl to play futsal together with you. Of course there is exception, but what i am saying is that there are things in our life which we just simply cant do together.
Do you find its frustrating that sometimes you cant share or connect to your partners when it comes to these interest which are very dear to you? As a consequence to that, do you felt distant towards each other? Is it wrong for us to pursue something which is greater than 'we'?
How do we measure our dedication to another person then? Some would say i would die for you but in reality i wont even spend an hour of my precious time watching your favorite show together with you. How ironic is that. No matter how much we want to become 'we', there are still very much of 'i' in everyone. And yes although we all like to say "You completes me" like the sweet Jerry Maguire, however, i believe there are many other voids in our life which can be only self fulfilled.
In short, although we are together , but we are very much single in approach to life. i know its an oxymoron, but how true it is.
ok, here comes my two cents.
Togetherness is a state of mind. Its about being reciprocally related. Its not just about the amount of time the two being physically together. Well, a couple can sit together the whole day watching show however if its out of obligation and the heart is not willing, there is nothing which you can called as togetherness here.
Of course we can have time for separate interest like futsal or girls hang outs, but call her up for dinner with your mates after futsal; Or ring him up to inform that you will be late and you miss him when you are out with girls. For me, togetherness means to fit our interest around our relationship and having each other in mind even when you are having the best of your time engaging in your personal interest.
Anyway, thats all for now. Look forward to more of my coming love lesson k.
Should couple pursue their separate interest? I think most of us will jump to say "Of course, why not???" Well, before you get all pumped up, my next question is "should couple pursue their separate interest to an extent that its more absorbing and fulfilling compare to their own relationship?"
Told you its a tough one.
When two person come together, we always talk about togetherness, sharing of life, and common interest. In the other words, the whole purpose of couple ship is to change the mindset from 'I' to 'we'. However, the desire for security, interest, even material and possession that can make us happy is constantly instilled in us. And the bad thing is, this is very much individualistic. You cant expect a guy to go window shopping with you, or a girl to play futsal together with you. Of course there is exception, but what i am saying is that there are things in our life which we just simply cant do together.
Do you find its frustrating that sometimes you cant share or connect to your partners when it comes to these interest which are very dear to you? As a consequence to that, do you felt distant towards each other? Is it wrong for us to pursue something which is greater than 'we'?
How do we measure our dedication to another person then? Some would say i would die for you but in reality i wont even spend an hour of my precious time watching your favorite show together with you. How ironic is that. No matter how much we want to become 'we', there are still very much of 'i' in everyone. And yes although we all like to say "You completes me" like the sweet Jerry Maguire, however, i believe there are many other voids in our life which can be only self fulfilled.
In short, although we are together , but we are very much single in approach to life. i know its an oxymoron, but how true it is.
ok, here comes my two cents.
Togetherness is a state of mind. Its about being reciprocally related. Its not just about the amount of time the two being physically together. Well, a couple can sit together the whole day watching show however if its out of obligation and the heart is not willing, there is nothing which you can called as togetherness here.
Of course we can have time for separate interest like futsal or girls hang outs, but call her up for dinner with your mates after futsal; Or ring him up to inform that you will be late and you miss him when you are out with girls. For me, togetherness means to fit our interest around our relationship and having each other in mind even when you are having the best of your time engaging in your personal interest.
Anyway, thats all for now. Look forward to more of my coming love lesson k.
4 comments:
wah, since when become love guru?
are you attending the pre-marital counselling?? hahahha
yeah what love courses are you taking? hahaha anyway i think that if a couple is too absorbed in their pursuits there will come a time when they tell the other "I think i need to concentrate on my career first" which usually means they dont like you and wana end this relationship but mask it with a better excuse....my two yen hahahha
Teach me, show me, guide me, instruct me, lead me 2 b womenizer... can?
1 object x 1 object = 1 object
1 soul x 1 soul ≠ 1 soul
@Dorcas: hahaha.. you are genius.
@Manglish:sounded too familiar. yeah, thats what the excuse most of the time people use.
@kim: you no need me to teach. please ler, your charm is enough to make ladies fall for you, as long as you are not fussy!! ;)
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