Thank you my dear sir

Dear Sir,

It has been only 3 years, but i felt like i know you for ages.

I was a young naive girl back then, i dont know much about the corporate life and the reality of this business world. I was fresh out from university, believing that this first job is the platform where i will shine and excel, i will translate my many years of textbook churning into practical use.

Boy, how wrong was i. Never in my life i felt like i'm so stupid, i dont know how to deal with the shrewd businessman, i dont even know how to take part in the conversation during client meeting. Sometimes i felt as though i've merge into the background while the crowds are happily talking to each other, i was the observer who happen to sat on the same table, but doesnt belong to the cliche. i kept waiting for the chance for someone to notice me, and ask me, "So, Susan what do you think?". But there arent any.

It was a wakening call to me that i'm just acedemically smart, but other than the A's in the transcripts, i has no place outside the University green house. And when i started to question myself have i made a wrong decision by taking up the job, you make me aware that Sir, there you are. You are my superior, you are my teacher, but moreover you are my friend.

You taught me how to be worldly smart, how to protect myself at the same time let my presence be felt by others, but you taught me much more than just the lesson of this world. You taught me how to treasure family and friends, how to value and enjoy life, how to harnesh the potentials in me which i've never realized.

I remember the hours and hours of long journey on the road when we travel up north and down south. How we both teared when we talked about our families and whats important in life; how we laughed at the donkey things which we did in our university days; how we gained so much of weight because of all the dim sum and nasi kandar we ate. You make the work so much fun and easy all the time.

Dear Sir, I will miss you so much when you're gone. Its my sincere wish that you'll do great in your future endeavors, and i hope that one day i'll be able to co-work with you again.

Yours truly,
Susan

I (used to) have a dream

I had an enlightment talk with my colleague the other day, about having childhood dreams (those days we called it ambitions) and how they were never realized. Coincidentally, i read a post about the same topic during my random blog browsing a few days before. A girl who wanted to become a police woman but was laughed by others because she is overweight, ironically, she shed all her extra lipid but no longer crave for the same ambition.

Here comes my two cents.

Does it ever strike you that the childhood dreams was hardly the reality of your life? Even if its a yes, living the dream life isn't that earth-shattering exciting and spectacular like what we thought it was.

I have dreams, or maybe i should say i used to have dreams, in fact there are many of them. I used to dream on those rainy nights, sleepless nights, when i'm alone, sitting beside the window, waiting for the bus to come..... well, one good thing about dreaming is there is absolutely nothing you cant dream about, not even the sky is the limit.

I used to dream that one day i will sing and sing and sing for all my life. I thought that it was THE calling, the sole purpose of my life which i need to live up to no matter how much it cost me.

I used to dream the same as what Martin Luther king, Jr dreamed (1963, Lincoln Memorial)

"I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough place will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together."

It will be a day when there is no more inequality, violence, poverty, oppression. A sight of great magnificent that will awed me completely.

I used to dream of having a boyfriend who can sing like (or look like) Ewan Macgregor (blame it to Moulin Rouge), someone who can makes the butterflies in my stomach flapping wild and my knee goes weak. I used to dream of being a housewife who kiss and see the husband off to work every morning, and bear hug him in lovely apron with a hint of glorious chicken soup smell when he came back.

I used to dream... many many dreams
.... until reality of life strikes me hard on my face, and thats when i realized that i'm a grown up.

Dreams are wishful thinkings, a self deceived visual image in our mind which help us to get through the reality, thinking the best are yet to come.

Dreams is always perfect, but human are flawed. Circumstances changes how we think, how we connect with others... its about us taking different paths, wanting different things in different stage of our life. Sometimes, to pursue the dream itself is against what is best for us. What make us think that a child of 6 knows what life is about? is it really true that our childhood dream which we figured out with our yet-fully-developed pea sized brain is the direction and purpose of our life?

Of course i still sing, in traffic jam, showers, church, but it can never be my sole passion and purpose of my life; I'm still waiting for the world to change, a utopia which spells for impossible, but that doesnt stop me from living in the moments; i still believe in the one and only, but i know being loved by him always and all time surpass the need of being a homemaker who wears lacy apron.

Am not condemning those who are pursuing their dreams, in fact, there are some dream achievers among us. But we called them the odds, the outliers who falls outside the normal distribution of the bell's curve. Most of us are ordinary people described in John Legend's song, we dont know which way to go, but we can take it slow.

I used to dream, but now i hope. It's about looking forward to something that is real and truly of valuable to me. Something which i find is enough, while knowing there is better out there but its not meant for me.

And the trick of it is work hard, but let Life presents itself.

happy working, 2010

It has been a crazy week. Words cannot comprehend the amount and the extent of the craziness which i had to deal with in the office.

exhausted,
drained,
emptied,

but still surviving.

No bonus this year. Not really surprised, cuz it was never a contractual obligation. There was only once in the history of the company that the employees received bonus, it was during the first year i joined, 1 month salary i think. This year, the cheapskate management gave an ipod shuffle to all employees. RM200++ versus 1 month salary, you do the math. Nevertheless, its still better than nothing.

Its in silver white color

With the new designation, i was hoping for a good change in my job role, but so far nothing changes, still the same tons of workload, still rushing for documentation, i'm my oldself, only with a new title.

What a start for 2010, happy working.

New Year Resolution from a carnivor

I was labeled as "The meat eater" among circle of my close friends as they knew very well that i have no immunization towards meat. * CARNIVORES RAWKS !! * But gone are the days when i can eat tons of saturated fats without blinking. At the age of 26, my body metabolic rate runs 2 times slower than my youthful days, which means i need to go to aerobics classes on par with my eating habits to burn and shake away my lipid.

Anyway, the focus of this post is not my waistline, but the food. The New York Times recently named Kuala Lumpur one of The 31 Places to Go in 2010. *Round of Applause to our city please* and of course our food obsession and stupendous eats is the centre of global attention. The referred food blog EatingAsia had compile a list of the famous food in KL. To my surprise, for a avid food lover like me, all these places sound alien to me. This is absolute HUMILIATION. Hence, here comes my first resolution of the year- I shall eat at all these places till my stomach bloated (and work extra aerobic classes to compensate that) and know hunger no more.

So here come the list:

• Sek Yuen, 313-315 Jalan Pudu 011-60/3-9222-9457, fish and rice for two $8.75, closed Mon.

a fantastic old Cantonese joint where everything is still cooked over wood. Look at this pat poh ngap (eight treasures duck), it looks heavenly!!!

• Yut Kee, 35 Jalan Dang Wangi, 011-60/3-2698-8108, coffee 40¢, toast 60¢

A tribute to Pig, Roti Babi!! This is their puffy white loaf encloses a filling of succulent roast pork and onions.

I had something similar during my last visit to Penang. The sensation of the juicy minced pork in the mouth is not something easy to forget.

• Hong Ngek, Historical Hokkien food
  

crab balls - a mixture of crab and pork, really, and slightly crunchy carrot and Chinese celery and the Hokkien fried glass noodles

• Imbi Market - downtown KL's last traditional wet market, straight from the kitchen

The famous Roti kahwin (left) and Winson Berger (right)

Anyone want to join me for gastronomic tentalizing breakfast feast at Imbi market? It looks like a perfect place for Saturday brunch. If this is not tempting enough, we can sit and chat till our stomach ready for lunch.

Mouth watering ‘Ngap Pei Meen‘ (duck thigh noodles) and Char siew curry noodles

• Pak Din Ikan Bakar, Stall No. 5, Tanglin Food Court, Jalan Cenderasari, fish from $1.25, closed Sun.

Fish is not my favourite, but will keep it in the list for the time being.

..... To be continued
All the photos are courtesy of eating asia (www.eatingasia.typepad.com)

Days after yesterday

It was not easy to put my thoughts away from the various (yes you heard me, there were VARIOUS ) church attacks incidents which occurs last weekend. Everywhere i go, i heard people debate heatedly over the issue. Some were clenching their teeth while voicing their disapproval, some were mourning as they couldnt believed that such incidents happened in this lovely country of ours, some showed sinister "i told you that will happen" kinda look....

Whatever the response were, i have remained silent (believe it or not i am not as vocal as i'm perceived through my words). Honestly, i have ceased to talk on the mentioned issue as most of the time i felt pretty helpless after the conversation. We can be loud, we can be judgemental, we can be bitter, but where does it lead to? no where. On the other hand, this reminds me of what Paul wrote to the Corinthians: we can speak with tongues of men and angle, but without love, we are nothing but sounding brass, or a clanging cymbal.

Talking 'bout the issue had profiteth me nothing, I'm wholeheartedly agreed with what my friend Angeline said in her blog,

"And it is only when we stop retaliating to the violence can violence be stopped."

That marks the end of my say with regards to the issue.

Anyway, what happened after yesterday was i bid goodbye to one of my best friend as she was flying back to Liverpool. Honestly, It has been quite sometimes since i meet up with my fellow ex Liverpool gang. Although we are scattered here and there in KL, but its was hard for all of us to gather up in one single ocassion as we are all busy settling our lives since the day we came back. And because of her 'precious visit', the ex-Liverpool gang were able to meet up and catching up with each other. It was a definitely a short but sweet gathering.

The afternoon before she left, we had a good lunch at Zanmai Sushi, Gardens.

We've ordered varieties of sushi, which includes those with softshell crabs, eels, salmon etc. One of the funny ones is the Avacado sushi, which has nothing but Avacado.

We also tried this funny looking fish desert, which contains Vanila ice cream and red bean paste inside.

Of course, farewell wont be perfect without camwhoring.

Me and Jv, Sin Chek and Ky

A final picture of the cheeky gal herself

All the best to you, my dear!

On Bombing Church

Am not flaming any religious issue here, but when there is a need for a person to speak up, she has to speak up.

KUALA LUMPUR (Reuters) - A church in the Malaysian capital of Kuala Lumpur was firebombed early on Friday, gutting the first storey of the building in a residential area, amid a row over the use of the word "Allah" for the Christian God.

What is the meaning of this so called freedom of religion when a person cant even worship God in His name? What is the meaning of human rights if a temple of worship can be burnt down because of selfish cause? What is the meaning of a peaceful religion when its believers acts like a bulldozer who not only commit the crime of trespassing but also terrorism.

Frankly, if the evil carnage which we witnessed in so many occasions were the profession of FAITH, i have no words to describe the religion except cult-ish. Am i the only person who is confused over the identity of the religion here or what? The name of the religion itself suggested 'peacefulness', but paradoxically the act of its extreme believers suggested nothing but evil and violence.

I do understand that the people we should condemn here are the fanatics and the extremist. Honestly its unfair to point the fingers to the religion or its devotees for the irresponsible act of the minorities. However, everytime i heard such news being wired on the tele, i cant help but to question: Is it something went wrong with the system itself? The extremists seem to believe that their evil acts were justified by their belief, and they can conveniently bombing churches, mass slaughtering for the sake of a futile reason- to emphasize the differences between religions. Honestly, its scary that there seems to be no stopping of the occurrence of such incidents.

I still remember the skin deep horror i felt the first time i saw the youtube video of the extremist decapitating the Korean fugitive. The gruesome image was imprinted in my mind but it was the shouting of "Allahu Akbar" before the act of decapitation haunted me for a long long time. It startled me that there are people who actually believes that by killing others they are showing that their God is the greatest of all.

Religion supposed to save life, not taking away life. However, religion is one of the major contributing factor of human mortality in the history of mankind. Holy wars and terrorist attacks killed billions of life and caused enormous suffering to the people.

And now, its taking place in Malaysia as well. Yesterday was the bombing of the church, i wonder whats awaiting for us tomorrow?

Movie reviews: From west to east

Another 2 movie reviews.

Watched New Moon last night.

I always thought that twilight fans are over hyped, what is there to drool over? pale lifeless looking vampire and half naked under aged werewolf? However with that being said, i also felt that the twilight haters are over judgmental as well. Though there is absolutely nothing qualifies the movie as A rated blockbuster, but for a chick flick movie, maybe it wasnt that bad after all. Many said the books are good, so the translation from words to celluloid works cant be that bad. Probably, there is some neutral ground in between.

boy, how wrong was i.

The movie SUCKS, BIG TIME. I have wasted two precious hours of my life watching the mundane life of a suicidal confused teenage, a pretty useless vampire and a nearly peadophile victim.

No more comments, case closed, am downgrading myself if i write more.

Another movie i've watched was Hua Mulan.

It was a stark contrast compare to New Moon. The story literally hammered hard in my heart.

It was a sad sad movie. A totally different interpretation/rendition of the lady warrior story that we are so familiar with. If you have watched the Disney Mulan or the Drama series Mulan, you will know exactly what i'm talking about. In this 2009 version, there is no hillarious makeup scene ready for match making; there is no cover up scene whenever Mulan true gender was getting exposed; there is no animated dragon mushu that talks non stop; and there is no 'happily ever after' the end.

The love between the jeneral (or rather the 7th prince) and Mulan in the movie was forbidden from starting till the end. The only time Mulan acts on her feelings, it costs the lives of her own comrades. The ill fated lovers are bound by their duty and responsibilities to protect the country, they suppressed their feelings, parted their ways and lived in each other's memories.

To be honest, there are flaws in the storyline, the background of the heroine (Vicky Zhao) was nothing more than a brief walk through, and the character development of her love (Chen Kun) was a stark constrast to the heroine's, vague and under developed. However, it was understandable as the story was focused on the perspective and emotions of the female in the setting of a cruel and gruesome war.

Frankly, am not a patriotic person, i cant comprehend the sentiments behind the heavy price which Mulan paid to restore the peacefulness. But i do know that war is nothing but man made calamity, the fruit of evil bore from the selfishness of irresponsible and arrogant leaders. The movie reminds the spectators there is always causalities during wars, it doesn't matter if they only leave behind a wooden name tags, they shouldn't be forgotten by the survivors after the battle was won.

A heavy movie to digest but a definitely must watch.