Death

Last night, i came across this quote about death in "Norwegian wood"- 

"Death exists, not as the opposite but as a part of life"

I believe everyone at one point of their life would have thought about the matter of death. In fact i've thought about it multiple times in my life, about the meaning of death, what's come after death, and how my love ones should continue to live their life happily after my departure.

I'm working with a company which provides informatics solutions to forensic institution (especially mortuary), hence in the 4++ years of my working life, i had saw many dead bodies- Fresh, exhumed, stored in freezer for 10 years, virtual body in 3D, you name it. I wont go into details as they were really not pleasant experiences, plus i dont want my boss to stumble across my blog through google search of keywords.  

I remember there was one Saturday night, about a month before my wedding, i have to witness bodies of 16 orphans who were buried alive in an orphanage hit by a landslide. It was nearly 11 pm when the forensic guy from the hospital called me to go to the morgue to assist them with our company's software system. I give a call to my boss to inform him about the situation, took off my pyjamas and put on my jeans, then drove straight to the hospital, all within 15 minutes.

When the midnight came, the bodies started to reach the mortuary one by one. Despite of the multiple ambulances and so many bodies, the entire forensic department was eerily quiet. One of the medical personnel told me later that it was because the deceased were orphans, so there were no families came with the body. I was speechless when the words struck me. There are many deaths in this world which are not been mourned, and there are many souls passed away unnoticed by the world.

Suddenly the silent was no more uneasy nor eerie. It was deafening, with a deep sense of sorrow.

Then the autopsy started, body was opened up, one by one. It saddened me to say this but I have to re conditioned my mind to view those body images displayed on the screen as an object and not a human who no longer can breath, talk nor move. That was the only way i can carry out my work and deliver what i should, with a total detached emotion.

When i drove back home at nearly 2 in the morning, my heart was heavy. I don't know how the forensic pathologists can go back home every night have their dinner with the family, have normal conversation, go into bed and sleep soundly after facing so many death during the day. Maybe they have compartmentalised their personal feelings towards the living and the dead, maybe death had become a routine in their life.

Sometimes, life itself has a way to remind us about death. Death is not foreign, nor its opposite of life. In fact, its part of life. We are all part of this vicious cycle of life and death which no one can be exempted. And i asked myself from time to time, am i ready to face it if it comes today? or i will be like the rich fool in one of the parable in the bible- unprepared and poor in spirit?

Do you think about death constantly? i know its a taboo for some, but maybe we can talk about death openly sometimes. Inevitably, we all have to face it one day, cuz death is the only certainty in life.