God put the Israelites in the wilderness for 40 years before they entered into the promise land.
Sometimes, i asked myself. Am i still in the wilderness?
Not just in the spiritual context, but in this earthly body as well. How mature am i? How meaningful is my life now? how well did i fulfill my role as a daughter to my parents, a christian to my fellow brethren, a fiancee to my love, an elder sister to my brother.
Am i still wandering around when i am suppose to do things i should do? whining and complaining when things get tough? sway and distracted easily from my goal and purpose?
The recent family issue and on going house renovation issue had shaken the core of my confidence. Suddenly, i am neither here nor there. Seed of doubts was planted and blossoming. I'm no more certain about the calling, the purpose, the goal, the direction, the vision, even the sights which was crystal clear to me before. And the scary thing is, without all these, there is no yardstick to tell me how well i did, there is no boundaries to tell me whether am i still on the right track.
Pastor Chuan shared something about faith last week: faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. I certainly cant see anything now, nor i know whether my hope is certain. Maybe i just lack of faith.
I wonder how long more this 40 years gonna last.
Sometimes, i asked myself. Am i still in the wilderness?
Not just in the spiritual context, but in this earthly body as well. How mature am i? How meaningful is my life now? how well did i fulfill my role as a daughter to my parents, a christian to my fellow brethren, a fiancee to my love, an elder sister to my brother.
Am i still wandering around when i am suppose to do things i should do? whining and complaining when things get tough? sway and distracted easily from my goal and purpose?
The recent family issue and on going house renovation issue had shaken the core of my confidence. Suddenly, i am neither here nor there. Seed of doubts was planted and blossoming. I'm no more certain about the calling, the purpose, the goal, the direction, the vision, even the sights which was crystal clear to me before. And the scary thing is, without all these, there is no yardstick to tell me how well i did, there is no boundaries to tell me whether am i still on the right track.
Pastor Chuan shared something about faith last week: faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. I certainly cant see anything now, nor i know whether my hope is certain. Maybe i just lack of faith.
I wonder how long more this 40 years gonna last.
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