Love and Death

Sometimes i asked myself, if one day my life being taken away, abruptly without any warning or signs at all, then HOW???

It's like "now you see me, now you dont".

In case you are wondering, its not my hormone that is talking. I am just acknowledging the fact that i'm human, which means my life is beyond my control and there is nothing i can do to secure my own life in this earth. In fact, some says that the only certainty in life is death. How true it is.

Its funny that most of the time we are under the illusion that we are super human, we can do wonders as long as we think we can (Malaysians are especially good at this, we think everything "boleh"!), we can even fight the fate and work out our own destiny.

yeah, right... wait till you experience the death of your close ones. I've attended two funerals last month, and i lost one distant cousin and a very dear uncle of mine last year. For me, the message was loud and clear, that death can be knocking on anyone's door, anytime.

Back to my question, so How? How? Howwww???

I'm not really petrified over the issue of facing death, in fact the question doesn't concern me that much. In religious context, dying means falling into a deep sleep, which can be pretty peaceful (of course the scarier thing is to face the Heavenly Father, with empty hands). Anyway, what i'm trying to say is that when we leave the world, we leave behind the good, the bad, the burdens, the earthly blessing, the enemies, the love ones, in another words, the world is of no concern to us anymore.

So, the question of "How" is actually directed to my close ones, my love ones. If one day i leave you suddenly, then HOW? Will you be sad? Will you miss me? Will you hold tightly to our memories to an extent of unable to move on?

Apart of me wanted to say dont cry for me, you deserve to enjoy your life to the fullest, your happiness meant much more to me than your tears; but ironically, another part of me wanted so badly that you will never forget me, i want a piece of me living in your heart forever.

I remember a conversation i had with my friend quite some times ago, she refused to put her husband name as the trustee of their daughter's inheritance in her will because when she asked him will he re married if she passed away one day, the husband said ... he dont know, in another words, maybe yes. On hearing this, she was greatly grieved.

Frankly, i knew her husband much longer and closer compare to this girl friend of mine. He is a man of honesty and integrity, and i know he loves his wife and family but he also speak the truth according to his heart. In fact, I'm agreed with the husband's answer, its valid and honest, but as a woman, i do understand the way she felt, especially the deepskin sadness over the reality of the truth.

Does death really do us part?

I remembered reading Manglish's post which talks about love in a very brutal way:

I still cannot grasp the concept of love. What is love, really? People are putting so much emphasis in love these days. I am very much inclined to think that love is a mental disorder. But so far, it has not been categorized under one of those three lettered disorders like ADD or OCD. Soon, maybe? under LUV? Look at things people do when they fall in love; once a friend who recently fell in love wrote, "Love is about giving all that you have and demand nothing in return." This sounded more like a donation than love to me. I believe people are selfish in love. You fall in love with someone because this particular person, in his or her own special, fulfills you in a certain way that only you know how.~Manglish

If love is not unconditional, if one day i'm no more there to fulfill or completes you, then HOW?

Something to ponder indeed.