Post Christmas Blues

Its approaching the end of 2011.

Many had started to write posts such as: 10 most memorable moments in 2011 or 10 greatest achievements in 2011. I don't understand why are people so obsess with the number "10". If I end up writing such a post, I will never limit myself with 10.

Anyway, its two days after Christmas. I'm sitting in the office while my husband went for a shopping spree at KLCC. Thats why i'm blue. Nah, truth be told, am feeling one kind because there were so much of anticipation and hypes building up all the way to the Christmas, and in a blink of an eye, it ended. Don't get me wrong, my Christmas was fabulous. But the fact that it turned into past tense so fast before I can drench myself in the Christmas spirit makes me cant help but sigh.    

In fact, the shopping malls started to play all the "ji ke long dong qiang dong qiang" songs even before the Christmas decoration tears down. Wow, that's fast. I felt i was sorta left behind, while others had started to march towards the new year. 

Often, many feel a sense of loneliness or emptiness after Christmas season. Its like a void deep inside which can never be filled by any Christmas gifts. Some are recovering from the burnt wallet, some are wondering so-what's-next? Some felt a emotion sharp turn which nearly send them into depression. But, my blue was a different kind of blue. 

There were so much to feel, so much to do, so many friends to meet, so much of love to share during the Christmas, but Christmas day is just ONE day in the cycle of 365 days. In fact i somehow managed to stretch the celebration to 4 days by having church Christmas night event on 23/12, Christmas mass and family Christmas dinner on 25/12 and two Christmas gatherings at my home on 26/12. Gosh it was super hectic and I cant recalled the last time I've baked and cooked so much. However, it still felt NOT enough. How I wished the celebration can be extended to the whole year round, and i don't mind listening to Micheal Buble's I'll be home for Christmas for another 365 days. s 

23/12 Church Christmas celebration, all the girls performing mimes for "We are the Reason"

Of course i can still have the gatherings with my friends and families during normal days and not only during Christmas season. But Christmas has this wonderful (and strange) effects on people. I find that people's heart are more open because its the Christmas season. Maybe its the Christmas song, or maybe its white and snowy decoration, or maybe its the peaceful and jolly ambiance. Whatever reason it is, it brought smiles onto people's face easily, it makes you want to skip while walking, it makes your heart felt light and fluffy.

I just wanted this good feeling to go on and on.

2011 Christmas was a special Christmas for me, as I'm celebrating my first Christmas with my 'new' family. Peter and I took up the challenge of cooking the Christmas dinner for the whole family. We had pork ribs, paella, minestrone soup and the cheesecake (which was failed to set, bleh). The food was all gone before I can even take the picture of it. It was a simple dinner with just great conversation and laughters, and I enjoyed the Christmas night with my extended family tremendously. I mean I'm close with Peter's family, but that night, i felt like we were closer than ever. It was finally dawn on me that they are my family now. I guess somewhere along the line after being away from home for 8 years, I've found an anchor and a home here in this city which no longer foreign to me. 

If I sum up one thing which the Christmas this year had taught me, that would be "Cherish the moments of  love". The great moments in our lives are precious, but fleeting. So enjoy and make full use of it when it still last.   

Its Christmas season

2 more days before Christmas come. Hooray!

I know Christmas has been commercialised pretty much to the extent of maximum nowadays, and heck Jesus is not even born exactly on 25th of December. BUT, i still cant contain the bursting joy in me, knowing that end of the year is coming and this is the time for friends and family to come together and celebrate the fruits of labour which they have harvested throughout the year.

Anyway, in the spirit of Christmas, i shall share with you what Peter and I have done with our Oven for the past few weeks.

In Clockwise, 1. our first roast chicken (stuffed with lemon), its super juicy and easy

2. My raisin and nutty chocolate bar, its easy to make but its too sweet!

3. My first chocolate butter cookies, again its too sweet, will use dark chocolate next time.

Oh, the gals and I had a good time at Plan B the other day, it has a very hip bar-semi restaurant look and its perfect for hang outs!

We ordered a salted beef sandwich (which has a very good texture and taste!), carbonara (very very CHEESY and CREAMY), Morocon lamb pie (the meat comes in chunks but the lamb taste is a little tad too strong to our liking) and the grilled cheese burger (perfect!!)

Cakes, cakes and cakes!!! Happy birthday to our gal Elena!

Ps: See Kohyee with her forever busy with iphone pose

That's all for now, Merry Christmas to all!

"I wish we could put up some of the Christmas spirit in jars and open a jar of it every month." ~Harlan Miller

Death

Last night, i came across this quote about death in "Norwegian wood"- 

"Death exists, not as the opposite but as a part of life"

I believe everyone at one point of their life would have thought about the matter of death. In fact i've thought about it multiple times in my life, about the meaning of death, what's come after death, and how my love ones should continue to live their life happily after my departure.

I'm working with a company which provides informatics solutions to forensic institution (especially mortuary), hence in the 4++ years of my working life, i had saw many dead bodies- Fresh, exhumed, stored in freezer for 10 years, virtual body in 3D, you name it. I wont go into details as they were really not pleasant experiences, plus i dont want my boss to stumble across my blog through google search of keywords.  

I remember there was one Saturday night, about a month before my wedding, i have to witness bodies of 16 orphans who were buried alive in an orphanage hit by a landslide. It was nearly 11 pm when the forensic guy from the hospital called me to go to the morgue to assist them with our company's software system. I give a call to my boss to inform him about the situation, took off my pyjamas and put on my jeans, then drove straight to the hospital, all within 15 minutes.

When the midnight came, the bodies started to reach the mortuary one by one. Despite of the multiple ambulances and so many bodies, the entire forensic department was eerily quiet. One of the medical personnel told me later that it was because the deceased were orphans, so there were no families came with the body. I was speechless when the words struck me. There are many deaths in this world which are not been mourned, and there are many souls passed away unnoticed by the world.

Suddenly the silent was no more uneasy nor eerie. It was deafening, with a deep sense of sorrow.

Then the autopsy started, body was opened up, one by one. It saddened me to say this but I have to re conditioned my mind to view those body images displayed on the screen as an object and not a human who no longer can breath, talk nor move. That was the only way i can carry out my work and deliver what i should, with a total detached emotion.

When i drove back home at nearly 2 in the morning, my heart was heavy. I don't know how the forensic pathologists can go back home every night have their dinner with the family, have normal conversation, go into bed and sleep soundly after facing so many death during the day. Maybe they have compartmentalised their personal feelings towards the living and the dead, maybe death had become a routine in their life.

Sometimes, life itself has a way to remind us about death. Death is not foreign, nor its opposite of life. In fact, its part of life. We are all part of this vicious cycle of life and death which no one can be exempted. And i asked myself from time to time, am i ready to face it if it comes today? or i will be like the rich fool in one of the parable in the bible- unprepared and poor in spirit?

Do you think about death constantly? i know its a taboo for some, but maybe we can talk about death openly sometimes. Inevitably, we all have to face it one day, cuz death is the only certainty in life.