Losing faith

I still have hundreds of things in my unfinished tasks list but am too numb to work on it on rainy Friday afternoon. It was pouring like crazy outside. All around me is quiet, everyone was fixing their eyes on computer screen and the entire office felt so cold and tranquil.

Anyway, weather like this always bring out the gloomy side of me.

There is something bothering me like a swarm of fluttering bees in my mind for the past few days. Its about losing faith.

Have a heart to heart talk with a close friend of mine last weekend. She was struggled badly to stay afloat while there are so many different things in her life weighing her down. There was no big dramatic event leading up to this, which made it particularly more difficult to rationalize away. In retrospect, career challenges, financial commitments, peer pressure had outweighs the simple faith she had over the past year or so. I had a bad feeling that she is sinking down fast and the faith which holding her strong all theses while is slowly slipping away.

We used to be fighting for the same course and firmly believed in what we pursuing. In fact we are the witness for each other's faith and its always a silent understanding between us that we will uphold and always be there for each other. It saddened me that since we had departed our ways, i was totally blinded towards her strife and struggles.

Being human, we tend to lose faith easily in many things. It can be faith in a relationship, career, particular interest, religion or even a person. I must admit that i've did it couple of times myself. I lose faith in my first relationship because of the 6 hours unreachable gap between Malaysia and Johannesburg; I lose faith in a friendship because i find myself can never be the perfect person he wants me to be; I lose faith in some big churches because i can only see the four walls and a roof, not the life of the believers.

Frankly its human to err, so as its human to easily lose faith. How many of us are persistent and endurance in our pursue? How many of us are still eagerly pursuing our childhood dreams after years of disappointment/failure? How many of us able to fulfill the vow of loving a person till death do us part? How many of us are still honest in our thoughts/believes and not distracted by other temptations along the way?

I have a friend who switch love target in a matter of days. One day he can boldly declaring his undying love to one, but as soon as he sense a slight signal of 'might be rejected', he will turn 180 degrees and start to look for a new target. I have another friend who finished his bio degree and hooping from one job to another, without staying for more than half a year each. Thinking the next one will be his lucky strike.

Faith sounds ancient and impractical in this age as most of us feel that following the tide as it flows is a much easy way out than battling against the tide.

Honestly I was very much demotivated after the conversation .... until she send me a sms last weekend, telling me that she was strengthen by words from Heb 12:3 "Do not be wearied and lose heart". I opened up the bible and continue to read from there..

7 "Endure hardship as discipline...
11"No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it
12-13 "Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees; And make straight paths for your feet, lest that which is lame be turned out of the way; but let it rather be healed.

My heart silently rejoice when i see the words. It really doesnt matter how hard will it be in this journey of pursuing the faith, what matters is where it leads us to in the end.