I dont really blog much about my job, not because my job is boring, but the last thing you want to do is blog away your job. I think the suck-iest reason to be sacked is because your boss reads your blog and found out you whine and bitch about your job openly on the net. Don't be surprise that your boss do surf around the internet and read random stuff just like what you do during office hour.
Today is an exception as i'm gonna blog about the mixed feelings i had towards my job. My friends know that i am in business line and i'm always rushing in and out for meetings, but there is much more to that, multi-tasking IS my job whereby i need to do something as simple as picking up calls, arranging meetings to intense tasks such as manage people, scoping project, initiate discussion, writing proposal, requirement gathering and analysis, and even heading project deployment.
To be truth, i do love my job, it is the best learning ground, always full of challenges and job satisfaction can be something which can be easily addicted to. A month ago, i'm working on a tender project together with Dr T from a renowned MNC. Take away his charming smile and cool German accent, he is really a hell of a tough cookie. Forever fussy and demanding, to an extent of sms-ing to my boss asking why am i late with documents (which i have sent ages ago but was not received by him due to his company email server problems). However, when the tender closed, Dr T finally told me, "anyway, susan you are impressive". sigh sigh.... i think Germen really have the autocratic complex in their genes. But my point is to hear those words from the horse mouth makes me all puffed up, as if all the sleepless night and hours of overtime which i spent on this project are worth it, all in the name of job satisfaction!
I love my job, and i hate my job as well. It doesnt sound right but that is exactly how i felt. I am not acting overly confidence here, however to be frank, being excel from the 'worldly' point of view is not really that difficult. Of course i'm not talking about the dollar sense here, what i meant is job satisfaction, recognition, acknowledgement etc., or anything which give you a solid return/result in a short turnaround time. I am sure if you were to pour some effort and totally commit in whatever you are doing, it CAN be translate into a good outcome.
So far, i am quite good in this 'translational' skill. But here comes the problem, you'll see the best of my 'worldly' skill but you'll also see the worst 'spiritual' side of me. I am task oriented, into a point of merciless when its comes to meeting deadlines and expectations. I can't compromise with my colleague's irresponsibility and the 'tai-chi' act. And i will not think twice to speak out loud in order to get my job done.
Sometimes, it felt like i'm compromising to the extent of tormenting my true self whenever i'm putting on my working lady hat. I am never a mean person by character, I really hate to discipline others, and its not my nature to be bossy and order others around.
It can be quite difficult at times, especially in the working environment, where people rewards efficient and great productivity but not kindness. However I see the importance of anchoring to my self value rather than conforming to the world's value. How far will the words of flattery from boss get me? What is the meaning behind job satisfaction? more hours of hard works? Loving oneself on the expense of others?
In the end, my life is mine to answer. Its never my boss or my job.
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