Lately, i'm constantly asking myself why on earth i'm doing in this 10 degrees freezing cold land. why did i still feel that living here is such a foreign task? is it possible to suffer from maladaptation even after 3 months of stay?
*sigh*
*sigh*
*sigh*
Yeah, i'm jaded, stupid and wreckless,
but i'm not sorry, and i'll never regret.
these three months i spent, so faded and meaningless,
but i'm not sorry, and i'll never regret for the next 1 year i have to spent in this foreign land.
*sigh no more*
Saturday, September 24, 2005
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
silence
This is one of those rare moments. when earth seems to stop to spin, when birds stop to sing, when leaves stop to green....
*silence*
*silence*
*silence*
all i can hear is silence.
Desperate i am.
*silence*
*silence*
*silence*
all i can hear is silence.
Desperate i am.
Friday, September 09, 2005
acceptance vs understanding
“Real friends start by accepting, not understanding”
I’m lost in thoughts when I first came across this quote from Meiling’s blog. I don’t think that most of my friends understand me, even for those I perceived as brothers and sisters for the past 10 years of my life. Whenever there is an unpleasant argument or disagreement of opinions occurs between me and my friends, the first thought that comes into my mind is: “For once, why they can’t think from my perspective in the first place before they started to judge me?”
Most of the time, I simply give up to explain or trying to make them understand cuz I’m just tired when I have to repeat the same thing over and over again. And sometimes words itself is a limit, it’s really hard for me to interpret every thoughts into suitable and understandable words.
Pathetic, out of the six billion human populations on earth, no one seems to understand me.
But is it really that important to gain other people’s understanding? Is it really necessary that all our action can be rationalized in a way so that other people can understand it?
At times even me myself can’t figure out why I talk, think and act in the most unreasonable way. Well, if that’s the case, what for I’m asking others to understand me when I don’t even understand myself.
It’s human that we try to understand “why and how” with our own conscience. If the person behaviour and the way he/she acts are totally devoid of our understanding, will you still accept him/her? Will you still stand beside of him/her without feeling doubt?
Accept even when we don’t understand, some people might perceived that as naïve or irrational. For me, it’s something called as faith.
I see faith when I saw the tears that you never showed to other people.
I see faith when you let me slept on your thick comfy mattress but you yourself sleeping on the one which is thin and hard.
I see faith when you hold my hands so tight when I was lying on the bed in the hospital.
I see faith when You bless me with those people who have faith in me.
I’m lost in thoughts when I first came across this quote from Meiling’s blog. I don’t think that most of my friends understand me, even for those I perceived as brothers and sisters for the past 10 years of my life. Whenever there is an unpleasant argument or disagreement of opinions occurs between me and my friends, the first thought that comes into my mind is: “For once, why they can’t think from my perspective in the first place before they started to judge me?”
Most of the time, I simply give up to explain or trying to make them understand cuz I’m just tired when I have to repeat the same thing over and over again. And sometimes words itself is a limit, it’s really hard for me to interpret every thoughts into suitable and understandable words.
Pathetic, out of the six billion human populations on earth, no one seems to understand me.
But is it really that important to gain other people’s understanding? Is it really necessary that all our action can be rationalized in a way so that other people can understand it?
At times even me myself can’t figure out why I talk, think and act in the most unreasonable way. Well, if that’s the case, what for I’m asking others to understand me when I don’t even understand myself.
It’s human that we try to understand “why and how” with our own conscience. If the person behaviour and the way he/she acts are totally devoid of our understanding, will you still accept him/her? Will you still stand beside of him/her without feeling doubt?
Accept even when we don’t understand, some people might perceived that as naïve or irrational. For me, it’s something called as faith.
I see faith when I saw the tears that you never showed to other people.
I see faith when you let me slept on your thick comfy mattress but you yourself sleeping on the one which is thin and hard.
I see faith when you hold my hands so tight when I was lying on the bed in the hospital.
I see faith when You bless me with those people who have faith in me.
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