Friday, June 29, 2012

Father

Just wanted to share a back-dated post about Father's day. 

I read a touching post written by my colleague recently, its called "Male and Proud of It". Its not my practice to share news or articles related to my work in my personal blog, but i simply love this post. The post was about the pride of a male as a father. My father was never expressive in his words and thoughts, not to his children, not even to his wife. Gifts and words of complements were very rare, even for special occasion. Am not saying that I never felt love from my father, its just that i don't feel the expression of it that often. 

So when i read this post from another father, I do wonder do my father felt the same too? Is he beyond elated when I was born to this world? Does he proud to be a father of his three children? Did he has the same joy the author had when I wished him "happy father's day" recently through the phone? And when he walked down the isle with me one year ago, does he felt sad to let me go? 

".... Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life..." quoted from the article
Or did my father experienced the same as what was described by Tom Wolfe, he was trying the best he can, out of love or sheer sense of duty, to be the father we wanted him to be? And how does he felt now that he has to take up another role- father in law to a man he hadn't raised.

And funny thing is, I never asked him those questions. And I dont know how important it was to me until I type it out in words. In fact I wanted to hear from him personally and not from another father's perspective. 

Do you have the urge to know your father more? Or you already have a very intimate father and daughter relationship which is beyond spoken words. Well, for me, I would need to start with the baby steps, which involves basic thing such as talk more to my father. Well, at least its still not to late to start. 

Happy belated father's day.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

A year to remember

What does 365 days means to you?

It means the world to me.

It wasn't easy to put it in words the feeling i had. It's like sometimes people may ask you, how do you feel today? Good, great, fine.... Errrr... Where the hell is all the vocabularies when you need it.

So how do I feel now that it has been 365 days since the day I walked down the isle? Good, great or fine is nothing close to what I felt inside. Again, it wasn't easy to articulate those feeling in plain old English words. How do you describe the depth of intimacy and the closeness two person can have, the joy of sharing the joy itself with your love one, the assurance of knowing there is someone who will always be by your side.....

All I can say that its beautiful. This feeling, this place, this present, this 'You and I'... and I can't help but fall for it anew.

Thanks for taking me here, my dear.